Author: The MooCow

Well, the MooCow finally did it: he dropped the Stink Bomb of all stink bombs! Behold, everyone, the legendary weird bad flick Geek Maggot Bingo, from our old Cinema of the Transgression friend Nick Zed – and boyhowdy does this one ever stink! Are the Indie Film Cafe kids up to the task? Only way to find out is to give a listen on the Latest Podcast Episode, which finds Moody, the MooCow, and special guest co-host Joe Turek moaning and groaning in agony over this very ‘special’ moovie experience!

Also known as The Freak from Suckweasel Mountain (because one stupid title wasn’t enough for this flick, clearly…), this moovie stars…ummm…well, punk rock moosician Richard Hell, and uh, basically no one else. So, Dr. Frankenberry (ha-ha) tries to reanimate the dead with the assistance of his hunchbacked assistant Gecko (ha-ha); his ridiculous daughter Buffy, and her wanna-be boyfriend Flavian, are around to stupid up the narrative, and aforementioned Richard Hell (as the Rawhide Kid) pops in for a while, while the nefarious Scumbalina (Donna Death, punk singer from Zedd’s first flick They Eat Scum) plots her mischief in the background. Eventually, Frankenberry’s cheap, unrecognizable monster, The Formaldehyde Man, escapes, and ummm…things and stuff sort of happen. Its very dark and the sound is crap, so honestly its anybody’s guess as to what actually happens. Old, half-asleep horror host Zacherle mumbles incowherently for a bit as well. The End. Oyyyy….

Easily the cheapest, crappiest, nonsensical garbage this cow has ever seen, and boy did it pack a stinky punch – the IFC kids didn’t know what hit them! Cardboard props, painted sets, a dark basement redecorated over and over as the ‘setting’, ridiculously amateurish performances – Geek Maggot Bingo is one of the poorest productions ever seen by human eyes – or a cow’s! Worse still is the stumbling, muttering, incowherent plot line that is one of the dullest experiences set to film – I suppose good ol’ Nick Zedd did us all a favor by making it too dark to see and too muffled to hear anything. Be thankful for small favors… :=8/

Hard 10’s from everyone – was there any doubt? This probably ranks as one the worst flicks ever seen on Indie Film Cafe, with only Miss Werewolf at the tippy top of the Stink Pile, and even then not by mooch. Wow, trust the MooCow, you HAVE to see this one to believe it – good luck! Big time 30 on the Ladder of Stink! I’m not sure Sick Flick Productions AD & producer Joe Turek is gonna recuperate from this one! Cookie Mueller, who starred in a number of John Waters films, once famously said: “I have never in my lifetime of experience with low-budget films seen one this low . . . It lies somewhere below the subculture, even beneath the New York subway system.”

There is no trailer for this mess. Good luck finding it anywhere, although I suppose this is an act of kindness. If you have the loot you can find it on Amazon, although burning your moolah would end up being moore satisfying. For some odd reason you can get the dvd on Superherostuff.com, ’cause when I think superheroes I immediately thinkn of this film. It shows up on Ebay from time to time, like a recurring case of the clap, but don’t expect it to be cheap. Get the poster from MoviePosters2.com, if you moost. The digital is at Cinematerial.com. And expect to pay a mint if you ever come across Nick Zedd’s original poster. Colored replicas pop up from time to time too. Wig out your normy friends with the Tee Shirt. If you can’t get enough Geek Maggot Bingo (and who cud??), Dangerous Minds Underground Spook Show has a review, and it was featured on the Cinema Snob. Oh, and there is also an Official Drool Cup, as you do…

Well, we here at IFC are sorry to see Nick Zedd go this past year, but he has left us a healthy plop of stink to view and review over the next few seasons, now that the Nick Zedd cherry has been popped here at Indie Film Cafe – stay tuned, i am sure we will have moore to come next season, and beyond!
:=8D

Ok, you wanna talk about the ultimate Guilty Pleasure fun moovie?? We’ve found it with Richard Mogg‘s lost 2012 flick Hot Chicks Blast Uranus, which was made in 2012 and released in 2021, and absolutely everybody on the planet needs to see right now! I mean, who doesn’t want to see a bevy of hotties blasting evil stuffed Elmo puppets from outer space?? Its the stuff that dreams, and fun episodes of Indie Film Cafe, are made from! Join Moody, the MooCow, and special guest co-host Ri Maku and get ready to blast those stuffies! :=8D

At a halfway house for troubled teen girls, one Miss Candy Pickles shows the ladies, and the world, who is the boss babe when the earth is invaded by slimy gummie worms from plastic ball space ships which invade human cavities and produce – you guessed it! – one eyed Elmo monster stuffies! Fortunately, Candy is able to overcome the udder girl’s problems and traumas, and unite them all, in a cowsmic battle to the death – and perhaps save mankind and the world from Elmo destruction! AND, if that weren’t kewl enough, it turns out that Ms. Pickles was destined for greatness, just as this film should be! And Alexis Belvedere is the hero we all need!

This flick was soooo much crazy, overthetop fun, with a rockin’ soundtrack, very ‘special’ special effects, colorful costumes, some 40+ ‘teenagers’, and a timely message about overcowming our differences to defeat a common (and fuzzy!) evil – this moovie promised stinky, silly fun, and delivered it in spades! If you already know RickMoe Productions (Bigfoot Ate My Boyfriend, Teenage Slumber Party Nightmare, Easter Bunny Bloodbath), then you know what to expect – and if you don’t then this is the perfect place to start! I gets the feeling we will be seeing moore of Richard Mogg on Indie Film Cafe in the not too distant future!

And the scores are in! As expected, Hot Chicks Blast Uranus scored pretty low on the Stinkometer, getting a 4.0 from Moody, a 5.0 from Ri Maku, and a 3.0 from da MooCow, giving the film a total Stink Score of 12, which is a Stinky Average of 4.0! On the Ladder of Stink this moovie is tied with Witchouse 3 and Shrunken Heads! Not too shabby!

Check out the fun trailer HERE. And this is the ‘mosaic’ trailer! Its not streaming anywhere this cow cud find, unfortunately, but you can order yerself a dvd copy right HERE! Honestly, if there is any justice in this world this moovie would be available everywhere! Since the moovie is pretty rare, there are no swag sites I cud find – but they did a pretty nice review of the moovie at Horrorsociety.com, which you should check out. It can also be found on the Facebook page for B-Movie.com, with an ordering site as well.

Let’s hope this moovie can get sold everywhere, ’cause the world sorely needs fun indie flicks like Hot Chicks Blast Uranus!
:=8D

Hey everyone it’s Jonathan Moody back again for another blog here about one of the movies I picked. And when I was younger or so I was at my local video store and I saw a movie there called, “Busted” starring Corey Feldman. However I never rented it. It wasn’t til years later when I came across it again looking for terrible movies. Busted was one of them people seemed to really hate on and I wanted to know why – but now it was harder to find. I found it on You Tube one day and checked it out: it was just as bad as they say, so of course I had to buy it. And it was a bit more expensive than I wanted (However now you can actually find it at Dollar Tree with a bunch of other flicks).

Anyhoo… I decided who would be better to review this movie than two women who hate nudity in films… Samantha Marie (who was a first time guest on Indie Film Cafe but is my co host for Horror, Blood, And Coffee) and Jackey Hall (who has been on the show a few times).  Check out the latest episode of Indie Film Cafe!

The “Story” if you can call it that is about a group of cops who take hookers and pimp then out so they don’t have to keep arresting them. Meanwhile a peeping tom is out there. And they are being looked at for being a terrible precinct. It’s basically Police Academy if Police Academy was one of the dumbest movies alive. The jokes are like 12 year olds wrote them. Very much in the vain of films like Naked Gun, Airplane!, and all those other Zucker brothers type parodies. But it’s not really a parody. Just cheap jokes. Worst of all was the J Walking cringe-y joke. 

Corey Haim is in the movie for maybe 5 minutes or less and of course they have him on the cover of the DVD trying to get everyone to buy it because of his involvement. Sadly he didn’t want to be in the movie for very long because cast in the film was a predator. It made for quite an awkward time on set I’m sure. 

The 12 year old writing was very noticeable with how much nudity was in it. Just lots of random nudity that had nothing to do with the flick except to give you some T&A. Normally I’d be okay with that because it at least had something to go for it but even then it just felt in your face with no point whatsoever. I was so glad I did not watch the movie with Sam and Jackey or they would have been trying to attack me for it for putting them up for it. 

This podcast was pretty cool though because of one really awesome thing. Samantha chats with Corey Feldman from time to time on Instagram and hit him up about it. And after asking why in God’s name would we be reviewing that movie he did give us some information we were not privy to. So if you get a chance to listen to this podcast please do but understand… not a lot is talked about on the film as much as going off the rails and talking about other stuff. Sometimes we dive a bit deeper in to it but really no one wanted to discuss the movie because we all hated it. 

With that being said the scores are in and it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out what the scores are…. And I can just say everyone gave it an unanimous 10’s all around, giving us another 30 for the season, with a Stinky Average of 10.0. Since we have 1 extra episode per month this season has gotten quite a few 30s; I wouldn’t expect anything less from the fifth season. Which puts it on the Ladder of Stink next to the likes of Fateful Findings, Zombie Cop, Miss Werewolf (Which technically got a 30 plus), and more. 

Well thank you all or checking out my review and now Paul is gonna take it away and tell you how you can get your little hooves on this flick… Take it away Paul! 

Well, firstly here is the TRAILER of the moovie, which you can also see in its entirety on Youtube. You can git yer hooves on the dvd from Amazon, or in the re-sale market from places like Ebay. RetroRhythmMedia.com has it too. It is streaming on Amazon as well – I very seriously doubt this will ever see a blu ray release. BUT, if you love the moovie poster then I has good news because you can download it from Cinematerial.com! The digital is also at Movieposterdb.com. That’s about it as far as moovie swag goes, but if you want to go down a Busted rabbit hole then check out the film’s very own Reddit page. Also OCPCommunications does a video rant of the film, if yer a cowpletist.

Oh cow the mighty Coreys have fallen – but tune in next episode for an-udder episode of Indie Film Cafe, and who the heck knows what flaccid flick will show up next??

Speaking of unfunny crappy rip-off moovies, well we have CHUD II: Bud the CHUD, a brainless zombie ‘horror-comedy’ from 1989 which is sadly lacking in both.  :=8P But WAIT, there’s gonna be a dust-up down here in Indie Film Café studios, because it turns out SOME folks actually enjoyed watching this festering pile of cow flops, and hoo-boy is that gonna make for a discussion!  Jeremiah Morehouse returns to join the MooCow and Moody – check out the latest episode of Indie Film Café to see cow this episode wraps up!

This in-name only sequel stink bomb to the modestly successful original C.H.U.D. flick about a group of cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers (CHUDs!) doesn’t actually feature any in this film. Instead we have a single weaksauce dead guy nicknamed Bud who gets stolen from a ‘secure’ Army medical lab by some dopey teens, only to revitalize and cause ‘fun’ shenanigans as he bites his way through town and cause udder new zombies to appear; and of course the even stupider adults can’t keep up. Fans of the original moovie will note this is NOT cow it worked in the first film, since Bud is really a cheap unfunny zombie with a virus bite that will transform udders into zombies – the standard zombie trope established by Night of the Living Dead. Only in this one we have a cast of moostly washed up B-moovie actors and very minor celebs tossed in to make it seem wacky, but its moostly just dull and unfunny. This CHUD is a DUD!!!

The MooCow remembers well when this came out, and cow irritated he was at feeling ripped off – especially since the video art PROMISED actual C.H.U.D.s, and we got nothing of the sort. Like Tiny Tim, he felt this was just small and weak and pathetic and grossly unfunny – cowever, the MooCow seems to be in the minority opinion! DON’T GET ME STARTED!!!
:=8P

It was written and directed by David Irving, who was moostly noted for kiddie moovies and Disney bull-stuff, which probably explains the juvenile sense of humor. The horrifically mulletted Brian Robbins (Full House, Kids Incorporated, Growing Pains) is the star, who later went on to become head of Nickelodeon, AwesomenessTV, and finally head of Paramount Pictures – because, you know, mullet power. Robert Vaughn, at the tail end of his career, shows up, as does Larry Cedar, Jack Riley, June Lockhart, Larry Linville, Norman Fell, Sandra Kerns, Priscilla Pointer, Bianca Jagger, and Gerrit Graham as the titular Bud. The sharp-eyed will spot Robert Englund slinking away in shame for a brief mooment, probably trying to get his agent to change his bi-line to Allen Smithee. Just dumb bad forced comedy masquerading as a horror film.

Ok, the scores are in, and they are something – the MooCow and special guest Jeremiah Morehouse went with 8.5 and 8.0, respectively, while an annoyed Moody loved the stinky charms of this flick and awarded a 2.0 – personally I just think he has mullet envy. Anycow, that’s a total Stink Score of 18.5, and a Stinky Average of 6.2, putting Bud the Chud on the Ladder of Stink just below Bigfoot Wars, and just above Haggard and Airborne.

We got a trailer for you HERE. You can rent it on Youtube, if you really want to. Its on Prime Video too – and you can buy the dvd from Amazon, but it won’t be cheap. They also have it on vhs and blu ray (inexplicably). You can also pick up the blu ray at WallyWorld, and in the re-sale market on Ebay. Pick up the false advertising poster on Amazon and get the digital at Moviepostershop.com. TeePublic has 2 styles of tee shirts on offer for you, one with a still of Bud from the moovie on tees, hoodies, mugs, labels, and one with a cartoony image of Bud on tees’, hoodies, masks, and mugs that says yum yum yum. Mehhh. Tshirtczar.com has an alternative poster tee as well. The entire soundtrack is on Discogs, or buy it at Bandcamp. Buy the vinyl at Amazon.

Well, that about wraps it for this episode, and none too soon! Check back later for something new and stinky here at Indie Film Cafe!
:=8D

Ello Mateys… Arghhh you all ready…. Jonathan Moody here to talk about another movie I did without Paul. There’s been a few this season so far, and it gives Paul a bit of a break which he is most (or moost whichever you wanna go with) grateful for. In this episode I suckered two guests that have been on the podcast before but not together…. Colleen Tidd (Who you may remember from the Robowoman episode) and Jeremiah Morehouse (Who had done Deadly Prey with Sarah Adkins and me). This time I wanted to show a movie that I had only known about through trailers but had not seen before this podcast. It’s the Brett Kelly Canadian Pirate flick, “Pirates: Quest For Snake Island” and boy did we have a fun new show!

Sure this movie was independently made with sets that looked like just historical buildings they got permission (or maybe not) to use. It looked like a bunch of friends who wanted to make a pirate movie together. I mean it was 2009… Pirates of the Caribbean was still pretty hot then, wasn’t it? Brett Kelly is the main star of the film. Also the writer-director-producer. Usually you think of that as a vanity project but honestly this really wasn’t one. Brett’s character Blackjack Cutter is such a silly buffoon. Making childish decisions and gestures. He’s not one to just always win everything he does to show how amazing he is. For most of the movie you actually wonder if he’ll win in the end. 

One thing that really disappoints me and others is the lack of actual snakes in the movie Snake Island, and that is discussed. I mean something called Snake Island you’d think the place was crawling with them! But you know most of it is probably someone’s backyard! Of course what they lack in budget they make up for in silliness. Don’t get me wrong this is not a comedy but it has comedic elements, and it’s quite enjoyable. With only 76 minute running time the movie is a quick breeze to watch. And you can tell all the actors were having fun in the roles that they were given. 

If you want to hear more about our feelings on this flick please listen to the review. And watch the flick yourself if you haven’t yet. 

And the scores are in… Jeremiah Morehouse and myself both gave it a 4, while Colleen went with a 3: she enjoyed it even more than we did. Giving it a nice total Stink Score of 11, which is fairly low, and ranks it with The Giant Spider on the Ladder of Stink. Not bad for a pirate flick, eh? 

Well now’s the fun time where Paul is gonna tell you all where to find this fun little movie! Take it away Paul… 

Well, for starters, you can see the trailer HERE. Seek ye Tubi to see it for free! The moovie has slithered its way onto Amazon Prime, if you;d like to watch it there. It is also on Google Play. Uncle Amazon also has a few dvd copies left too. You can also pick up a fairly cheap copy for re-sale on Ebay. Grab a digital copy of the poster on Cinematerial.com! That’s about it for the schwag, but they did cover this flick on No-Budget Nightmares!