Episode 110: Geek Maggot Bingo (1983)

Well, the MooCow finally did it: he dropped the Stink Bomb of all stink bombs! Behold, everyone, the legendary weird bad flick Geek Maggot Bingo, from our old Cinema of the Transgression friend Nick Zed – and boyhowdy does this one ever stink! Are the Indie Film Cafe kids up to the task? Only way to find out is to give a listen on the Latest Podcast Episode, which finds Moody, the MooCow, and special guest co-host Joe Turek moaning and groaning in agony over this very ‘special’ moovie experience!

Also known as The Freak from Suckweasel Mountain (because one stupid title wasn’t enough for this flick, clearly…), this moovie stars…ummm…well, punk rock moosician Richard Hell, and uh, basically no one else. So, Dr. Frankenberry (ha-ha) tries to reanimate the dead with the assistance of his hunchbacked assistant Gecko (ha-ha); his ridiculous daughter Buffy, and her wanna-be boyfriend Flavian, are around to stupid up the narrative, and aforementioned Richard Hell (as the Rawhide Kid) pops in for a while, while the nefarious Scumbalina (Donna Death, punk singer from Zedd’s first flick They Eat Scum) plots her mischief in the background. Eventually, Frankenberry’s cheap, unrecognizable monster, The Formaldehyde Man, escapes, and ummm…things and stuff sort of happen. Its very dark and the sound is crap, so honestly its anybody’s guess as to what actually happens. Old, half-asleep horror host Zacherle mumbles incowherently for a bit as well. The End. Oyyyy….

Easily the cheapest, crappiest, nonsensical garbage this cow has ever seen, and boy did it pack a stinky punch – the IFC kids didn’t know what hit them! Cardboard props, painted sets, a dark basement redecorated over and over as the ‘setting’, ridiculously amateurish performances – Geek Maggot Bingo is one of the poorest productions ever seen by human eyes – or a cow’s! Worse still is the stumbling, muttering, incowherent plot line that is one of the dullest experiences set to film – I suppose good ol’ Nick Zedd did us all a favor by making it too dark to see and too muffled to hear anything. Be thankful for small favors… :=8/

Hard 10’s from everyone – was there any doubt? This probably ranks as one the worst flicks ever seen on Indie Film Cafe, with only Miss Werewolf at the tippy top of the Stink Pile, and even then not by mooch. Wow, trust the MooCow, you HAVE to see this one to believe it – good luck! Big time 30 on the Ladder of Stink! I’m not sure Sick Flick Productions AD & producer Joe Turek is gonna recuperate from this one! Cookie Mueller, who starred in a number of John Waters films, once famously said: “I have never in my lifetime of experience with low-budget films seen one this low . . . It lies somewhere below the subculture, even beneath the New York subway system.”

There is no trailer for this mess. Good luck finding it anywhere, although I suppose this is an act of kindness. If you have the loot you can find it on Amazon, although burning your moolah would end up being moore satisfying. For some odd reason you can get the dvd on Superherostuff.com, ’cause when I think superheroes I immediately thinkn of this film. It shows up on Ebay from time to time, like a recurring case of the clap, but don’t expect it to be cheap. Get the poster from MoviePosters2.com, if you moost. The digital is at Cinematerial.com. And expect to pay a mint if you ever come across Nick Zedd’s original poster. Colored replicas pop up from time to time too. Wig out your normy friends with the Tee Shirt. If you can’t get enough Geek Maggot Bingo (and who cud??), Dangerous Minds Underground Spook Show has a review, and it was featured on the Cinema Snob. Oh, and there is also an Official Drool Cup, as you do…

Well, we here at IFC are sorry to see Nick Zedd go this past year, but he has left us a healthy plop of stink to view and review over the next few seasons, now that the Nick Zedd cherry has been popped here at Indie Film Cafe – stay tuned, i am sure we will have moore to come next season, and beyond!

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