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Episode 22: Thankskilling

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Well, if yer looking for an evil killer turkey puppet moovie (and who isn’t), Thankskilling might be your go-to gobbler, ’cause this is one fowl flick that’s all meat AND a side of mashed potatoes!  Turkie stars as himself as the bad-pun spinning, sheriff-face wearing, Flashy-chopping, salad-tossing turkey puppet avenger, out to kill a bunch of the dopiest false teenagers in the ‘burbs!  This is one weird and wonderful stinkbomb, folks – check out the Season 1 Finale of Indie Film Cafe to see who flew the coop, and who demanded seconds!

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Soooo, let’s see, there’s murder, of course, including fog-murder, urination, pointless boobery, joke repetition, turkey puppet rape, attempted turkey butt molestation, some fake turkey turds on a chest, a floating roast turkey animated sticker, a truly awkward coffee scene between a turkey puppet and a guy dressed as a turkey, a schmarmy bro-love song, and a turkey wearing a human face as a mask with rope tied around it – and no one recognizes him.  This moovie is nothing if not stunning in its verisimilitude.

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Dude, don’t eat that…

Well this moovie helped Season 1 go out with a bang!  Jenn and Moody cudn’t help themselves but give scores of 9.5 on the Stinkometer, while the MooCow was a tad moore generous with a score of 9, giving Thankskilling a whopping 28 Stink Score!  That’s right there with Birdemic – it moost be a bird thing!

Stinky Score 9

Enjoy the trailerage HERE.  Watch it on the Tube of You HERE, or git yer hooves on copy at Amazon.  Or splurge and get the combo pack of Thankskilling and Thankskilling 3, the Complete Collection, also at Amazon – and OHHH YESSSS, we will be covering Thankskilling 3 in the very near future!  And remember, all this whackadoodle fun comes from the mind of Director Jordan Downey – check out his Mandatory interview HERE.  And, there’s now a musical, because of course there is!  Finally, you can get yer very own tee shirt of Turkie right HERE, because why on earth would you not??

Well, that’s it for Season 1, we’ll have a short wrap-up episode to discuss what we’ve learned this year, and maybe drop a hint or two about what’s to come for Season 2 in 2019 – so check us out at PodBean to see what fowl gobbler we’ve seen next!
;=8)

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Episode 21: Santa’s Slay

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He’s making his list, and he’s checking it twice, he’s gonna kill everyone, naughty AND nice!
:=8D
Yes, nothing says home for the holidays quite like a homicidal axe-murdering demon Santa riding a Viking longboat-sled pulled by an enormous furry hell beast bison.  Just like Dr. Seuss and Charles Dickins wrote!  Bill Goldberg plays the aforementioned Kris Kringle demon from hell, cranky from 1000 years of kid’s letters begging for toys, and so he returns to Hell Township to give the pasty-faced denizens what-for, and the likes of Fran Dresher, James Caan, Rebecca Gayheart, Dave Thomas, and Saul Rubenik get turned into lumps of coal.  Fortunately, our two young friends, played with aplomb by Douglas Smith and Emilie de Ravin, with a little help from an angle played by Robert Culp (if you can believe that!) finally saves Christmas and the day!

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Uhh, Dave Thomas, this is NOT the ride you want!

if you have the Christmas blues, or are just a Grinch at heart, you’ll cheer on Bill Golberg‘s slayin’ Santa – check out what the Indie Film Cafe folks had to say about this one on their latest PODCAST!  Right from the demented opening you know yer in for a treat.  And there’s even some hot and heavy curling action!  And YESSSS, we know we should have saved this moovie for December, but who doesn’t like to have a peek at their presents a bit early?
;=8)

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I think the kids liked their gifts, Honey!

Overall, the Indie Film Cafe kids thought Santa’s Slay wasn’t too naughty or too nice: Moody gave it a 3, while Just Jenn and the MooCow tossed in 6’s, putting this holiday holocaust at 15 on the Stinkometer – which is middle of the pack!  That’s an average Stink Score of 5!  Not too shabby!

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Trailer, right HERE.  Enjoy the Alice Cooper hairspray-N-spandex metal theme song for the moovie HERE.  AND enjoy the kewl Futurama version HERE.  Want the DVD nooch?  Get it at Amazon.  And Target.  And Wally World.  There’s a fun little article HERE about cow Bill Goldberg met his wide on the set of the moovie!

Just one moore moovie to go for Season One – I wonder what it cud beeee??

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if you thought Santa was rough, wait ’til you get a load of MY tail feathers!

 

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Episode 20: Rat Pfink A Boo Boo

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FIGHT CRIME!!!!
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The rallying cry of possibly the greatest superhero duo in all film history!  Well, they were certainly the cheapest costumed heroes of all time.  For pure silly, whimsical fun, its really hard to beat this oddball whackadoodle comedy superhero moovie featuring hot (for 1963) singer Lonnie Lord and mild mannered gardener Titus stepping into a closet to become the mighty Rat Pfink and Boo Boo!  Clearly both an homage and a send-up of the early 60’s Batman tv show, with a bit of the Monkees and a generous portion of Richard Lester’s manic musical clips a la Help and A Hard Day’s Night, this Ray Dennis Steckler masterpiece jolts the audience from its serious opening third to the unexpected over the top romp that is positively hi-larious!  Check out our latest podcast to hear the details!

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Our heroes!

Seriously, your sides will split with laughter when you see these cheaply bedecked ‘heroes’ fly down the Hollywood suburban streets in their little scooter and sidecar, the Pfinkmobile, fighting crime.  Toss in 3 evil no-goodnicks, the amazingly lovely Caroline Brandt as Cee Bee, and a rockin’ surfy rockabilly soundtrack provided by Ron Haydock and the Boppers, AND a special appearance by Kogar the Gorilla (Bob Burns), and you have absolute indie and cult moovie GOLD!

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Ape!  Drop That Girl!

Well folks, we have a new low score for Season one, as Moody, the MooCow, and Just Jenn all gave Rat Pfink A Boo Boo fairly low scores, respectively a 3, a 2, and a 2.5, for an overall total Stink Score of 7.5, and a Stink average of only 2.5!  What a moovie!

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As usual, we have trailers!  anna see what all the fuss is about, then head over to Amazon to git yer hooves on a copy for yerself!  And Youtube is full of moosic from the film, and from Ron Haydock, who played Lonnie Lord/Rat Pfink, so check those out as well!.  And check out this whey kewl promotional film IN COLOR showing Rat Pfink, Boo Boo, Cee Bee, and Kogar at a local supermarket in LA!  The film and its moosic continue to inspire moosicians and artists from all over the spectrum!  Ray Dennis Steckler himself has inspired many podcasts, actors, and folks in the indie film scene, such as actor and writer Ron Jason.  You can find a touching tribute to the man HERE with pictures from his days in the Army, early behind the scenes shots, and of course many shots of Ray with his loving family.  And check out Ray’s fun and wacky short silent film homage Goofs on the Loose, long lost but rediscovered and on the Tub of You!

If our podcast gets you to see one flick from this season, Rat Pfink a Boo Boo just might be the one to see!  Help our caped heroes FIGHT CRIME!!!
:=8D

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Episode 19: Ankle Biters

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Three feet tall/Two inch fangs!! Three feet tall/Two inch fangs!!

Yes, that is the world famous mantra of Indie Film Cafe’s latest stinkfest, known as Ankle Biters – because there’s a gang of midget vampires and they can only reach your ankles, get it?  Actually, they prove they can pull down fully grown adult men and then bite them, but why do they have to bite them on the ankles???  There aren’t baby vampires (I wish!).  I dunno, but if yer looking for some hot and heavy midget vampire action (and honestly, who isn’t?), then this moovie has…well, some,  Moostly its about this grumpy anti-hero part-vampire named Drexel who is trying to stop the lil’ guys from making a full-sized vamp from a gem in a plastic sword, because lil’ vamps can only turn midgets into vampires – who knew that?

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We is Fierce!  Now Gimme Yer Ankles!

So Drexel (played by Writer/Director/Producer Adam Minarovich) and his little buddy T-Bone join force with some other dudes who also want to kill vampires (can’t we all just get along?) for reasons – the moovie is so dark and the sound is so dim we are sure things happen for some kind of reason, we’ll just be darned if we know what they are.  Under-developed, lacking humor, and suffering from some fairly bad post production, check out the Indie Film Cafe folks as they moan and groan their way through this gem in their latest PODCAST.

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These fake fangs hurt!

Well, these guys might be small, but they are big on the stink scale!  Moody awarded this flick an 8, while Just Jenn and the MooCow gave it 8.5s, for a total stink core of 25!  The MooCow might have awarded the film a bit moore, but he fell asleep into his massively buttered popcorn towards the end.

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We’ve got trailerage right HERE!  To git yer hooves on a dvd copy for your very own self, check out AMAZON , or sometimes they have it at BULL MOOSE.  And check out Adam Minarovich’s udder stinky classic Wiseguys VS Zombies for moore fun!  And of course you can see him in on AMC’s the Walking Dead.  And for those of you who simply cannot get enough of that slammin’ Ankle Biters theme song (you know who you are!), we present it to you HERE, in all its glory.

Ok, Ankle Biters might be a stinky midget vampire flick, but don’t sell it short – give it a little chance, and it just might work its way into your heart!
;=8)

 

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Episode 18: Fateful Findings

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Well, I knew it was going to happen.  I knew it was going to happen.  Yep, I always knew it was going to happen.  So sorry, folks, you caught me Breening!  And that’s because those poor schlubs at Indie Film Cafe finally got around to watching a Neil Breen film, the one and only Fateful Findings!  And if it ain”t a magical day, then it sure is a crappy one!

This epic failure stars Neil Breen as pretty much himself: the greatest hacker/writer/human being with alien super powers the world has ever seen.  We know this is true because the great man wrote, directed, produced, starred in, and pretty mooch did everything apart from wear a dress and play the female leads in this flaccid flick!  And my oh my did the 10’s come a-flyin’!  Remember when you thought Roller Gator was bad?  Remember when you thought Barn of the Blood Llama was bad???  Neil Breen is the king, all other must bow down before the master!  Check out the latest Indie Film Cafe podcast and witness the torture the MooCow has in store for his poor, unfortunate film buddies.  It’s a magical day!!!!!

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I can’t believe you used all that raspberry sauce, i can’t believe you used all that raspberry sauce…

Yep, we got our first 10 here folks, and not only that but it was unanimous!  A clean sweep!  10’s across the board!  That means a maximum 30 out of 30 stink points, and behold: a new leader has emerged at the top of the Stinky Movie Scoreboard, dominating the Stinkometer like no udder film has in season one!  Yep, we got our first 30, folks, but the big question is – will it be Season One’s last???

Stinky Score 10

 

Git yer hot, steamin’ Fateful Findings trailer action right HERE!  Marvel at how deftly Neil Breen saves America right HERE!!  Witness the intense acting that comes from a simple sip of coffee HERE!!!  Dying for yer very own copy of this amazing moovie?  Of course you are!  But you’ll have to get it right from the source, ’cause its not even on Amazon these days.  Never in history has $25.95 plus shipping and handling been moore wisely spent!  Check out the great man’s Twitter page as well, he’s always got a handful of dvds and blu ray to sell you!  And check out this scha-weeeeet Neil Breen-inspired digital art at Redbubble!  Or if you have some Danish Kroner lying around (and who doesn’t?), check out this kewl Danish Neil Breen Etsy store!

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Kiss it!  Kiss the filthy mask!!!

I’m not certain this slop bucket cud ever be topped folks, but here at Indie Film Cafe we are keen to try, and if its out there you can bet dollars to doughnuts that we’ll find it for you!
:=8D