Author: The MooCow

Welcome back to Indie Film Cafe, everyone, and now its time for a classic 80’s exploitation cheeser from 1988 called Cemetery High, written and directed by Gorman Bechard, and starring the snuggly Debi Thibeault, Ruth Collins, and Frank Stewart. On the latest episode catch Moody, the MooCow, and VERY special guest co-host Tina Krause as they chatter and chitter about this fun flick – and strap yerself in, this one is a LOOOONG one!

So this is basically a cheap, chick revenge flick, like Ms .45 with an even smaller budget, in which all the innocent high school girls who have been done wrong by slimy, stinky MEN in their lives get their revenge by blasting them with shotguns, chopping them up with chainsaws, and various udder not-fun ways, although moostly off-camera. Basically its a chance to check out a bunch of hot chicks with weapons – and who doesn’t want to see that?? It was also known as Assault of the Killer Bimbos, which kind of says it all, right? It was cheap, silly, and made for late night TV, and when something ‘naughty’ was going to happen the film makers thoughtfully warned us with the regrettable “Hooter Honk” and “Gore Gong” to warn you to get young eyes away from the television! But the joke’s on you, ’cause there is neither to be had. LAME!!! :=8o

Yeah, there’s just not a whole lot to say about this one, the title says it all. Gorman Bechard is a B-moovie veteran, havign helmed such 80’s fare as Galactic Gigolo, Psychos in Love, Disconnected, and then later mooved on to writing, rpoducing, and directing short films, documentaries, and udder media – including Who is Lydia Loveless and Pizza: A Love Story! His latest offering was Old Friends, a Dogumentary, about what happens to old dogs when their owners no longer want them. Yeah, bring back the hot chicks with weapons, I say… :=8(

Debi Thibeault had herself a mooment in the 80’s when she was in a few of these cheesy, sleazy-wanna be stinkers, including the aforementioned Psychos in Love, Galactic Gigolo, and Death Collector – and funnily enough, she also starred in another flick called Assault of the Killer Bimbos, this one directed by Anita Rosenberg, also in 1988 – when great minds think alike! That one is mooch more well-known, and also stars Elizabeth Kaitan and Nick Cassavettes, so its safe to see why Director Bechard chose to re-name this one. Snuggly B-Queen Ruth Collins from Doom Asylum, Blood Sisters, Party Girls, and Witch Academy is also on hand to sex the film up. We get fake cowmmercials, the characters break the 4th wall sometimes just…because, and there are a lot of bad jokes, all of which adds to the stinky bouquet.

Well the votes are in, and yeahhh, Cemetery High definitely has an odoriferous stench cowming off of it – Moody went with a 6, the MooCow a 9, and our favorite Scream Queen Tina Krause also went with a 9, even though she has NO idea the stinky depths to which the MooCow can sink with these flicks! That is a Stink Total of 24, and a Stinky Average of 8.0, tying with a whole lotta crappy moovies on the Ladder of Stink, including the likes of Snow Shark, the Sinister Urge, Robot VS the Aztec Mummy, etc!

We gots us a trailer right HERE. There is an-udder on VIMEO. Check it out for free on Tubi! Buy the DVD or the VHS from Amazon! You can also grab a new copy from Barnes & Noble , FYE, Best Buy, and Walmart. Also Full Moon Features. if yer lookin’ re-sale, check out Ebay! 3 kinds of digital posters can be downloaded from CineMaterial.com. Debi Thibeault pops up on CultCelebrities.com, so check that out too. Weird Wild Realm does a fun review of this moovie you should check out as well!

Hey everyone… its Jonathan Moody back again. This time to chat about the 2011 film Reptoids walk among us (AKA Invasion of the Reptoids). I knew I wanted to show this movie to Paul but I thought who else might like this… so we did something we don’t do as much anymore which is I got 2 more guests for the show. I got Liz Fletcher who has joined us for a bunch of reviews and John Ward who has as well. Check out the new episode HERE!!

The story of this can be summed up from IMDB:

Aliens invade and terrorize a small town. Why do some of the townspeople seem to know more then they should about the aliens? And what secrets are the military hiding?

Yep… that’s the story in a nutshell but man oh man is way more than that. Well not way more but a little more. The version we say (Walk among us) is actually a different cut of the film that was on Tubi. Which was pretty cool that there’s two versions out there. Paul will later tell you how to find both versions.

Let’s talk about this epic cast….

What I was so excited about was the late great Conrad Brooks was in the film. Conrad is easily one of our favorite actors that pop up on Indie Film Cafe. Conrad just went with the (script?) of the film and had a blast playing his crazy role as a Hunter. His scenes almost are so ridiculous you could probably make a whole movie about his character.

Also joining this crazy story is veteran B movie actor George Stover as the Sheriff. You can always tell he gives 100 percent. He’s one of those actors that whenever I see his name pop up I get super excited. Him and I even talked once about working together. Sadly that project never happened but I would love to work with him someday.

And another actor that rounds this crazy cast is the great late John Link. Yes, John Link, this wacky character actor who I’ve adored. He always plays crazy people and honestly most of the time I can’t tell if its acting or not. Hopefully just acting. He just has a unique voice and look to him. You don’t find actors like John Link anymore.

And if John Link is there more than likely Edward X Young will be there as well. And man does Edward pop up in some of the craziest movies as well. I’ve admired Edward as an actor for a long time. So I was stoked to see him in this movie. Hell I was happy to see all 4 of these actors in this one movie.

Writer/Director Ted Moehring does as great of a job helming this type of project as he can. It’s sort of a simple idea which is great for indie projects. You don’t want a movie to complicated that might turn off an audience. I get annoyed by movie that I can’t understand. For the most part this was a fairly easy movie to follow.

I don’t want to say much since this movie is available on Tubi and you can watch it for free but I will say that even though it is a little bit of stink to it… I mean it’s a b movie premise that sounds straight out of a 50s movie… that it’s actually a film I want to own and it is a film I’d watch more than once. And to me that’s a big thing to say. Not a lot of indie films sometimes I’ll watch more than once.

Well the scores are in and it’s pretty medium on the stink scale. I gave it a 7, Liz gave it a 8.5 (which was higher than I expected), and John Ward gave it a 5. Paul gave it an 8.5 as well but his score didn’t count since we had 4 people. We were only able to have 3 and we wanted both of our guests to have a score. The total is an 18.5, which ties it with CHUD 2: Bud the Chud. And it makes a Stinky Average of 6.2.

Anyway that was Reptoids Walk Among Us. An enjoyable film that I hope you all get to check out. Next one up is one of Paul’s, and then back to me talking about one of the special guest episodes. It’s been a pretty easy start to Season 6. But until next time here is the MooCow to tell you how to find this flick… Take it away Paul…

Moo everyone! Well, I cudn’t seem to find a trailer anywhere, but I did find a trailer for the shorter variant Invasion of the Reptoids on Youtube. The good news is you can find this slinky stinker in a lotta places, including Youtube and Tubi! And good old Count Gore de Vol has it on Vimeo! Sadly, there are actual real people who believe in this stuff… :=8/ You can git yer hooves on a DVD copy of this flick, cowbined with an udder Conrad Brooks film Zombie on the Loose, from Amazon – and you can also get the film’s soundtrack on Amazon. You can find the moovie combo for re-sale at Ebay too. Sadly there are no posters, tee shirts, or coffee mugs for this flick – Hay, Ted Moehring, let’s crank out some merch for this baby for the fans! :=8D

Welcome, cats and kitties, to an-udder episode of Indie Film Cafe, and THIS time da MooCow has something extra special for ya! He’s been waiting since Season 1 to bring out this classic Mexican Wrestling horror stinker special Rhino re-release that ONLY ever came out in VHS form, so if you didn’t snatch it up back in the day you missed out! Fortunately for you, the kids at Indie Film Cafe are here to make sure this wackadoodle stinker from South of the Border doesn’t fade away into obscurity. Join Moody, the MooCow, and of course the Long Suffering Just Jenn, as the latest fun episode examines the RED HOT WESTLIN’ REBEL ROUSIN’ Rock ‘N Roll Wrestling Women VS the Aztec Mummy!!!! :=8D

So yeah, this is the special 1986 Rhino re-release of the classic 1964 Mexican stinker Wrestling Women VS the Aztec Mummy, except with added dialogue and new songs from rockabilly moosic star Johnny Legend! Check out his bio on the Rockabilly Hall of Fame website! Now, the regular version of this classic flick is just that: a B moovie classic! But the extra dialogue and kewl rockabilly tunage in this version just brings this moovie to a whole new level of fun – AND you get to see the MooCow’s FAVORITE ladies from wayyyy back in the day: Gloria Venus and the Golden Ruby!!! PLUS Popoca, the slowest mummy on the planet! What moore cud you want?? :=8D

This is a Luchadora film, a sub-sub genre of Mexican horror/wrestling mash-ups that were popular in the 60’s featureing female wrestlers, and it by far the MooCow’s personal favorite! Gloria Venus is played by the legendary Mexican actress Lorena Velazquez, whom we featured previously in the Season 4 IFC episode with Ship of Monsters! She was in a ton of stuff back in the day, and she was always mooovelous! And here she is teamed up with lost legend Elizabeth Campbell, the tall, beautiful Anglo actress who played the Golden Ruby in several Luchadora films, and a bunch of udders throughout the 60’s – sadly, she seems to have vanished from public view after 1970, but the MooCow hopes one day he will discover all about her life after that point because he is cowpletely obsessed! And if you LOVE the wonderful world of Luchadore/Luchadora flicks like the MooCow, you need to check out Grimoire of Horror to learn all about it! Scary Studies has a great site with loads of info too!

Of course, this is our famous BEEP episode, so get ready for some of that. And our scores are in! As expected, the MooCow loved this wacky flick a bit moore than the udders, giving it a 3.5, while Moody went with an even 4, and Just Jenn followed with a 6, giving the Rock & Roll Wrestling Women VS the Aztec Mummy a Total Stink Score of 13.5, which is a Stinky Average of 4.5! That’s a pretty good score, and on the Ladder of Stink this film slides into a tie with Vampire’s Kiss.

While there is no trailer for the 1986 Rhino re-release, there is a nice one for the 1964 regular version of the film HERE. And some kind soul uploaded the whole film in the English dub on Youtube right HERE. The regular Rhino re-release is also on Youtube right HERE, which has the wonderful Johnny Legend soundtrack featuring the theme song and such cuts as “Headlocks and Hard Knocks”, and “We Wanna Be Wrestling Women” – someday the MooCow will upload these precious, wonderful songs because they are super fun!!! And of course we will also cover the almoost as wonderful Rock & Roll Wrestling Women VS the Aztec Ape some time in the future, as well as some of the udder Luchadora flicks (especially She Wolves of the Wrestling Ring!) because they are all simply awesome, so stay tuned! in the meanwhile, good luck finding the Rhino version, it is wayyyyyy out of print, and the last time the MooCow pestered…errr, politely asked the Rhino folks about it but they have no plans to release their version on either DVD or Blu ray, unfortunately. Every now and then it will pop up on Ebay, though it aint cheap. The regular version of this film is finally out all over the place, and you can get both the DVD or the Blu ray as part of the Aztec Mummy Cowllection there! The MooCow DID manage to find a tee shirt featuring the Rock & Roll Rhiver version of the film at the Tee Flavors store on Etsy, so check it out!

Jonathan Moody back again! This time we started to do something a bit different. We introduced a guest who would pick a movie for us and another guest to do. And so of course I asked a guest who’s been on the show multiple times and knew what to pick…. Jackey Hall! She decided to ask a friend of hers that has never been on the show before Jeffrey Waller to come on. This was a lot of fun. But of course she had to pick a movie directed by someone she’s worked with and who also gave her her start in the business… Donald Farmer and his 2015 shark flick, “Shark Exorcist”. 

I am just going to tell you the plot synopsis from IMDB just to give you an idea of what this “story” is about: 

A demonic nun unleashes holy hell when she summons the devil to possess a great white shark.

Yep that’s pretty much the story in a nut shell. The film is utterly ridiculous and bat shit crazy. But that’s the kind of movies we like at Indie Film Cafe. Jackey knew by picking that movie Donald himself sort of understands how Jackey and some people really think. I mean the movie is called Shark Exorcist. You should know what you are getting yourself in to.

If you haven’t seen Donald Farmer’s general work like Chainsaw Cheerleaders, Bigfoot Exorcist, or Cannibal Hookers we urge you to go out and watch them. At Indie Film Cafe we encourage stinky movies. We might even say this is a movie to avoid but if you’re one of us you’re gonna watch it no matter what we tell you. 

This movie doesn’t have just one group of characters. Its almost like a slasher where there are different groups and they all start getting killed one by one. But instead of a guy in a mask its a CGI shark. Yep you heard it right a terrible looking CGI demon shark is going around possessing everybody. Anytime you think that’s the lead character (or the final girl)… they get possessed and start a killing spree because of the shark.

Once again the word ridiculous can be used. And for good reason. I enjoyed how campy and bad it was and I really enjoyed chatting with Jackey about it, considering she’s worked with Donald and knows all about the type of stuff he does for his films – including not asking for per mission and shooting in a park. He also did a few things we found a bit cringy. There was a scene involving a teenage girl that we weren’t sure what was her deal. But that’s Donald for you… finding anyone he can to play a part no matter who they are. 

It’s funny when Jackey picked this film out of all films to do I laughed because I do remember her being asked to be in it and she hadn’t acted in a while so she of course turned it down. However I think she’s pretty okay with that decision. Donald Farmer knows how to get a movie out. And how to get people attracted to an idea. Just the name Shark Exorcist…. Say someone like the SYFY channel produced it it would be an entirely different film. Donald Farmer is a one of a kind filmmaker. You just don’t make filmmakers like him anymore. 

The last thing I will say before I bring on the scores is that this film has been reviewed by different top tier You Tube film channels like Red Letter Media, Blood Bath And Beyond, Elvis the Alien, When Bad Movies Attack, and many others. Go on You Tube and just see the other reviews people have said about this flick. I’m sure it will give you an idea of what to expect.

The scores are in… And wow it is a resounding 10 Plus. The second 10 plus we’ve gotten since Miss Werewolf. And that’s high accomplishment. Paul thought he was the only one who could bring on a 10 Plus, and maybe Paul might not agree but I would say this is a 10 plus. I mean Paul didn’t even want to be on this episode bc he didn’t want to have to watch it again. That should say something. I didn’t really want to write this review. That should say something too! Haha. Anyway that puts it even above the likes of Fateful Findings, Twisted Pair, Zombie Cop, Lycan Colony, and like 12 other flicks. This is a breakout start to the season. Will it continue???

Anyway that’s pretty much it on my end. I will be back after Paul’s episode with 2 more coming up. Until then though here is the MooCow who will tell you where to find it. Take it away Paul… 

Yeeesh, we love ya Donald Farmer, but this moovie…hoo boy! Ancow, here is a sharky trailer for ya! And on Youtube you can watch it for both Freeby and the Bean. Is on Tubi as well. Git yer hooves on the DVD from Amazon! Or head on over to Wild Eye Releasing, a place you’ll wanna go to anycow to moosey through all their wonderful, goofy-ass stuff, and buy if there! Is also floating around at Walmart. You can also find it at re-sale at places like Ebay. Redbubble has a fun, cool poster you should get! They also has stickers and a kewl tee-shirt! They gots a second Tee as well, and magnets! Download the fun poster at Traileraddict.com! Look HERE for a kewl Japanese tee shirt of the film! There is even an Action Figure! TeePublic.com has a sweeeet coffee mug with the poster, so you can sip yer moorning Joe and cowtemplate the awesomeness that is Shark Exorcist!

Oh, by the way, kiddies, have we mentioned that there is a SEQUEL swimming about? Don’t go back into that Tennessee lake too soon!
;=8)

Hey everyone… Jonathan Moody back again. You will see one more time coming up as well since things have changed a bit this season! Anyway starting off this was our first Zoom episode back for season 6 and boy did it start off a lot better than expected.  I had to ask my buddy James L. Edwards to join myself and Paul for this NEW episode especially since we were doing another cheesy action flick. This time it was the 1990 indie action flick, “Twisted Justice”! But bot did it not disappoint. Let’s get in to it. 

To start off with this was a film by David Heavener. David Heavener was a low budget action star. He usually produced and directed the films himself. With a few big named actors which we will get in to in a bit. Now David is the self proclaimed last evangelist whatever that really means! Last season (Season 5) we had James on for Miami Connection which wasn’t his cup of tea. So I picked this one hoping it would be stinky but fun and surprisingly its less on the stink and very much fun. 

The logline is as follows (Source from Frankfob 2 from IMDB): 

In the Los Angeles of the future, police are forbidden to carry weapons and must use stun guns (Called “Stingers”) instead.  A Maverick detective ignores those restrictions and in his pursuit of “The Bullseye Murderer”, a psychotic rapist who takes a new drug called, “Umbra” that gives him superhuman strength and intelligence. 

That’s a pretty good synopsis of the movie. More than I picked up watching it. Haha. David Heaven’s character James Tucker who is a bit of a nutball. Not so much but he can be very nutty when he wants to be. Kind of like a little character named Martin Griggs in a little movie you might have heard of… Lethal Weapon. I’m sure David was thinking this would be a hit and then he could make it a franchise. It doesn’t hold up nearly as well as Lethal Weapon, of course. James Tucker is in search of the Bullseye killer and ends up tracking him down. Violence and mayhem ensues. 

Anyway James Tucker has hidden his gun in his house so the commander send two police detectives who just interrupt Tucker’s morning on more than one occasion to search for the missing gun. The two detectives are played by Jim Brown and James Van Patten who are just throw away characters. C’mon you got one of the greatest action heroes and pretty much all his scenes are looking for a gun. What’s going on here? 

There’s other acting favorites like Erik Estrada as the commander, Karen Black in a very small role, and Shannon Tweed who is mainly a voice in it up until the end of the movie. It was supposed to be a joke I guess but really wasn’t that funny. Paul had remembered seeing this flick when it first came out and being very unimpressed by it. I saw this one but didn’t get a chance to finish it before but man am I glad we did it. James hadn’t seen it but was well aware of who David was. This was more of what James wants out of these silly little indie flicks. And kind of exactly what Paul and I are always looking for in regards to IFC. 

I mean there’s not much else more to say in regards to this flick. It’s your standard Lethal Weapon rip off but it was a lot more fun than any of us even expected and quite frankly more fun than he def. deserved to be. I mean if it can keep the attention of the moo cow these day, my ADHD brain on crack,  and James’ higher than a lot of people’s standards than I would say it’s a pretty above average flick and we at the IFC studio implore you to check it out. But until then… 

The Scores are in… Now as I was saying we all expected this going in to be pretty bad but since there wasn’t a lot of technical issues and the story was interesting and entertaining enough to keep us watching it had a lower score level than expected. On the Stinkometer scale remember 1-4 are pretty good; 5 is meh; and 6-10 are degrees of stinkiness. James and I both gave it a 4 and Paul gave it a 4.5 giving it a total score of 12.5. Which interestingly enough ties it with Polymorph (Starring and Written James L. Edwards) and Now You Know (The Jeff Anderson directed flick produced by Kevin Smith). Not a bad place to be especially for a cheesy action flick from the early early 90s (kind of like left over 80s) 

I mean all in all this movie was a lot more fun than expected and we hope that if you get a chance to see it somewhere (we had to buy the movie online) than we implore you to check it out. The next movie tho…. ooof that was a harsh one to sit through. But before we get in to all that and everything I gotta leave you all in the hands of the MooCow who is going to tell you all where you can pick this movie up! 

So take it away, Paul….

Moo everyone – here is the trailer! You can actually watch the full moovie for free on the Tube of You! And you can stream it on PRIME. You can also stream it from Uncle Lloyd at Troma Direct! Buy the DVD at Troma, Oldies.com, or Walmart. Find it re-sale on Ebay or Mercari. For twice the fun buy the double flick dvd on Amazon with Twisted Justice and Laser Mission (or the VHS too if yer into that)! Grab the 24″ x 36″ original poster on EBAY while you can! Or check out the 2 different digital posters you can download at TheMovieDB.org. There are a couple of decent write-ups/reviews at Flick Attack and Temple of Schlock, and you can check out the original LA Times review of the flick from 1990 HERE.