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Episode 89: From Hell It Came (1957)

Its the ROOT of all evil!
:=8D

In which a huge, waddling, grimacing tree trunk menaces fake “natives” on a “Pacific Atoll” (looking suspiciously like Southern CA…), wreaking havoc and revenge. Slow, slow, sloooooowwwwww revenge. Join Moody, the MooCow, and special guest co-host adorable actress and Special FX maven Angel Bradford on the latest episode of Indie Film Cafe, and see if this marauding mangrove’s bark is worse than its bite… ;=8)
TABONGA!!!!

Soooo, the Tabonga is actually a full-grown man-tree. Well, grown in 2 days: moost have OD’ed on those Miracle Grow spikes…Anycow, it comes not from Hell, but from the grave of a fake native, Kimo (Greg Palmer, “The Zombies of Mora Tau”), murdered by the native elders for hanging out with those awful American scientists. The scientists include Dr. William Arnold (Tod Andrews, “Hang ’em High”, “Beneath the Planet of the Apes”) and Professor Clark (John McNamara,”War of the Colossal Beast”). Rounding out the cast is Linda Watkins (“The Parent Trap”) as the obnoxious Mrs. Kilgore, the obvious comic relief spurting out an equally-obvious fake “cockney” accent. A stellar cast indeed!! Anycow, because his doughy, brain-dead wife, Korey, played amateurishly by Suzanne Ridgeway (“Love’s A-Poppin'”), helps set him up, Kimo declares his revenge on her and all of the elders. They kill him and bury him in a tree, as you do; then, the dopey American scientists uproot the tree, bring it back to life “in the name of science”, & allows it to SLOWLY amble about the island, killing off everyone who has done him wrong.

Of course, we all know that evil monsters carry off fair maidens, so the Tabonga grabs plucky female scientist Dr. Terry Mason (Tina Carver, “Hell on Frisco Bay”) & waddles off with her. Vine-ally, a good shot with a Remington hits a knife lodged in the Tabonga, and it falls over dead into the quicksand. This laughably foolish cowncept is one of the all-time cheesy howlers. The Tabonga is arguably the slooooowest monster in moovie history, right up there with the clanky, hopelessly over-built robot from Robot Monster vs the Aztec Mummy and the perversely slow carpet monster from Creeping Terror. Try not to laugh as you watch the Tabonga toss fake natives down hills & into quicksand, dodge spears, and lumber slowly about the “island”. Shady writing, wooden performances, and sappy direction all point that this pulpy fertilizer has far mooore bark than bite. This tepid pile of wood chips was the last hurrah from long-time editor-turned-director Dan Milner, who quickly vanished into well-deserved obscurity following this film.

Egads, the Indie Film Cafe kids really howled over this one! Moody went with an 8, the MooCow gave it an 8.5, and Angel Bradford went with 9, while admitting that she laughed all the way through the moovie – that’s a total Stink Score of 25.5, and a Stinky Average of 8.8!!! Dat’s one stinky flower! :=8D On the Ladder of Stink From Hell It Came ranks juuuust a shade below Jack Frost and Blood Freak, and just above a whole pile of stinky garbage. And check out Svengoolie‘s synopsis of the cast!

Oh yeah, this one is all over the Tube of You – check out the HD trailer HERE. And you can watch it for free on Tubi. There are plenty of places to pick up the physical media of this stinker – you can get both the Blu Ray and DVD from Uncle Amazon, as well as Barnes and Noble, and the DVD from Best Buy and Walmart. But to enjoy the Tabonga in all its ridiculous glory, you need to git yer hooves on the Blu Ray! Pick up the scha-weeeeet poster from Ebay, Redbubble, Etsy, and for a lovely framed version, Fine Art America.com . An equally scha-weeeeeet tee shirt can be found at Zazzle, Redbubble, and Teepublic.com. Pick up the de-lux tee at Cultcollectiblesonline.com. The Doctor’s Model Mansion has a fabulous full-color resin diorama that is to die for, cowplete with the Tabonga, his female package, the knife in the heart, and a voodoo doll! Teepublic.com has TWO styles of coffee mug, the classic yellow poster and a vivid green version! You can find one on Amazon as well. and Moore Monsters made a magnificent Tiki-mug of the Tabonga that just HAS to git into your moovie mug cowllection! Heck, u can even find great original art from time to time, ’cause that Tabonga is just soooo inspirational! And EBAY has all kinds of great From hell It came stuff!

Well, you herd it through the grapevine from the MooCow first: “From Hell it Came” is a compost classic, and a perfect cheesy stinker to put on during the holidays when yer planted on the couch with nothing to do but veg. We hope we have seeded your interest in this film, and that it will bloom into a full-blown bouquet of stinky fun for you!
:=8D

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Episode 88: Lunatics: A love Story (1991)

Ok, its true that we here at Indie Film Cafe tend to focus on the stinkier side of indie films, but that doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate the good little indies that pop out from time to time, especially the ones that tend to fly udder the radar – and that’s just the kind of indie feature we have here for our NEXT EPISODE with Josh Becker‘s Lunatics: A Love Story (shot in 1989, released in 1991). Starring Ted Raimi, Deborah Foreman, and the always mooovelous Bruce Campbell, this is a fun, odd little indie that is worth gettin’ yer shovel out to dig dig dig up and find! Check out our podcast, with special guest co-hot actress Taylor Kilgore!

Poor Hank (Raimi); he’s a nerdy crazypants poet who can’t leave his house because evil doctors, giant spiders, crappy early 90’s rappers, and udder things are totally out to get him, and without the protection of his aluminum foil wrapped apartment in LA he is totally done for. And this is just fine, until poor, sweet Nancy (Foreman), who is cowvinced that she is cursed and that everything she touches dies or is destroyed, actually shows up at his doorstep. Hey-presto, he instantly falls for her (well, she IS Deborah Foreman!), but she runs off, and Hank is left with the existential question of the era: does he stay inside where it’s safe, or venture outside his tin foil castle to get the girl back? And Bruce Campbell plays several roles in this fun indie, including a mad doctor and Ray, Nancy’s ne’er-do-well boyfriend. Plus CLAYMATION MOSTERS!!! Did we mention the bad rap moosic??

This is yer chance to see Ted Raimi as a lead, and he’s really good – he’s been in a ton of udder flicks (The Evil Dead, Evil Dead II, Thou Shalt Not Kill…Except, Darkman, to name a few), but this is his cowming out party. Deborah Foreman was the IT girl of the 80’s (Valley Girl, Real Genius, My Chauffer, April Fool’s Day, etc), who all but vanished from the scene after this moovie and did not return until 2008 with Beautiful Loser – and the MooCow is very happy to see her back! We all know Bruce Campbell (Evil Dead franchise, Ash VS Evil Dead, Brisco County, Bubba Ho Tep, etc), although usually he is the lead, so its interesting to see him and Ted Raimi swap roles. Josh Becker has directed udder stuff too, including Running Time, Thou Shalt Not Kill…Except, Alien Apocalypse, and Harpies, as well as a pile of tv series episodes for Xena and Jack of All Trades.

well, the votes are in, and the scores for Lunatics: a Love Story is pretty low! The MooCow chipped in with a 4, Moody went with a 1, and Taylor Kilgore went with a 5.5, which gives Lunatics: a Love Story a total Stink Score of 10.5, which is a Stinky Average of 3.5, which is some low hanging fruit! On the Ladder of Stink, this moovie ranks right up there with For Y’ur Height Only and Santa’s Slay! And after the season we’ve had here at Indie Film Cafe of soooo many near-30’s, its nice to have a pretty decent indie freshen up the place, at least until the MooCow drags in an-udder smelly stink bomb…
;=8)

We gots yer trailerage right HERE. You can see the moovie for free on the Tube of You, and also it is streaming on CouchPop – but if you want the physical medium you can find the DVD by visiting yer old Uncle Amazon. For u fans Down Udder you can get the Aussie DVD HERE. Old school cowllectors of VHS can find there there too, and also Ebay. Someday we hope there will be a Blu Ray release – check back and we will update you with that info when we gets it! Good luck finding merch for this film, although the MooCow was able to eek out this original poster on auction HERE – maybe there will be moore, one can only hope. Here is a nice review of the DVD release on Starburst magazine, and an udder from Diabolique magazine.

And here is a bit of fun fan art!

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Episode 87: Hobgoblins (1988)

Welcome to the 80’s, Stink Moovie fans! Yes, cocaine, Ronald Reagan, and parachute pants are not the only stinky relics of the era, so is the latest Indie Film Cafe’s episode: Rick Sloane‘s immortal Hobgoblins! And yer old pal the MooCow, Jonathan Moody, and long-suffering sidekick Just Jenn are all on hand to take a peek at this ridiculous puppet Gremlins rip-off that is at once hard to watch and yet a wonder to behold!

Loser Kevin, his frigid girlfriend Amy, and their “friends”, the sex-crazed Daphne, meathead soldier boy Nick, and King of All Dorks Kyle all have to do battle with a bunch of furry little puppets that invade their home and pretend to offer folks their wildest dreams coming true, just before killing them. But honestly, the story takes a back seat to the horrible 80’s clothing, moosic, and styles, and of course FISH PICKER!!! Or is it PIG LIQUOR!!!! Doesn’t matter. Welcome to Club Scum, weirdos, let’s fight with rakes and dial up a 1-900 phone sex mistress while we pound those puppets! :=8D

While moost of the leads never went on to do anything else, we have seen udders in this film before. The ancient Mr. McCreedy is played by none udder than Jeffrey Culver, whom the IFC kids recently enjoyed in Nightmare Sisters, and also showed up in Bad Girls from Mars, Lady Avenger, and several of Rick Sloane udder stinkers, including two Vice Academy films. Here he plays a crotchety old coot that would make John Carradine proud, and is the guy who has been trying to keep the furry lil critters locked up. Skeezy 80’s teen telephone fantasy Fantazia was played by Tamara Clatterbuck (as Tami Bakke), who has also appeared in UFH, Battling Amazons, and on TV shows like Murphy Brown, A Different World, NYPD Blue, The X-Files, and Beverly Hills 90120, and who also appeared in Sloane’s Vice Academy. Good ol’ Duane Whitaker appears as the lovable Road Rash, the Club Scum bouncer with a heart of…rancid beef jerky? He appeared moost famously in Pulp Fiction, but also in Tales from the Hood, Feast, From Dusk ‘Til Dawn 2, Halloween II (2009), and the Devil’s Rejects. And finally the adorable Kari French played Pixie, the Club Scum waitress on the make who can really dance! She also appeared in the stinky Wizard of Speed and Time, Dangerzone III, Wildling, Bad Love, and Repo Chick, and also was yet an-udder to appear in Vice Academy. You can’t say that Rick Sloane wasn’t loyal to his workers!

While this is certainly a stinky film, the IFC kids definitely have some love for this crappy little flick too – Moody went with a 7 on the Stinkometer, while Just Jenn chipped in with a 6 and yer old pal the MooCow awarded a 6.5, giving Hobgoblins a total Stink Score of 19.5, which is a Stinky Average of 6.5! On the Ladder of Stink, that puts Hobgoblins tied with Octaman and the Double D Avenger!

Check out the trailer right HERE. Check out the classic VHS tape from EBAY! And there is a NEW trailer for the Vinegar Syndrome blu ray release! The free uncut version is HERE. Its also on Tubi. BUT you can watch the hi-larious MST3K version for free on Youtube – but if yer a real fan do yerself a favor and plunk down some hard-earned weregeld for the awesome blu ray/dvd combo from Uncle Amazon! You can also buy it direct from Vinegar Sydrome HERE. A digital version of the awesome POSTER can be found at Cinematerial.com, as well as the Movieposterdb.com. Good ol’ ETSY has a Hobgoblins throw pillow, tee shirt, and poster sized print! And Cultcollectiblesonline.com has an awesome Hobgoblins Tee Shirt! And the glorious full-color shirt at Video Nasty’s has to bee seen to be believed!

Yep, they just don’t make ’em like this anymoore! If you need to see a silly fuzzy puppet horror flick, or need to git yer 80’s thang on full-blown, then you NEED to find yourself a copy of Hobgoblins – you’ll be so happy you’ll dance like Daphne!
;=8)

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Episode 86: Robowoman (2019)

Badly written, threadbare, penny-pinching, micro-budget rip-off of Robo Cop, Robo Girl, Robo CHIC, Robo-Dog, and every udder Robo-moovie ever made, only worse: its amateur hour from the likes of Dustin Ferguson, the ‘talent’ behind such gems as “Meathook Massacre” I-IV, “Night of the Clown”, “Arachnado”, and a huge steaming pile of udder such rubbish puked out on a fairly regular basis, following the ‘more, not better’ credo of film making. This one stars a strange looking puppet, errrr, Dawna Lee Heising, a former dancer and model (many years ago) who also happened to nab a bit role in a real film (she was the dancer with the snake for about 2 seconds in Blade Runner; in the Hollybore indie cowmoonity, that’s enough clout to get you cast as lead in dozens of films, so it would seem, and the MooCow is certain we have not suffered though our last Dawna Lee Heising film, or our last Dustin Ferguson film for that matter. Egads! Check out Moody, the MooCow, and special gust co-host Colleen Tidd suffer and moan through our latest episode!

So DLH plays Vivica, a temp on her last day on the job who gets asked out on a date by a homeless-looking Jonathan Nation (Death Racers, Megashark VS Giant Octopus, Mega Piranha); apparently he’s asked her out every week since he started, and refuses to take no for an answer, and rather than calling him a creepy stalker and spraying mace in his eyes she of course says SURE! because the script demands it and there would be no moovie if she had a molecule of common sense. Of course, scraggy Jonathan is up to no good, and ambushes Vivica in the dark, along with his buds and physically handicapped brother because, hay, special needs folks can be jerky faces too!

So, she is left for dead but her wooden roomie (Sue Price) figures out where she is, and sends an ambulance, and hey presto, she’s in a ‘hospital room’ (worst EVER!!!) udder the supervision of a quack scientist (old, reliable Mel Novak) who has seen waaaay too many Robo moovies ’cause he brings her back to life by turning her into a dangerous cyber robot thingy. And by robot thingy, I mean she wears a pair of plastic mono lens sunglasses and a very false-looking glove as her ‘cyber’ implants. I guess Hot Topic was charging too damn moooch for anything better. Then things and stuff happen, and Robowoman gets her revenge on the dumbass nogoodnicks in one of the longest hour and 10 minutes you’ll ever experience. Oh yeah, and Brinke Stevens shows up for about 2 minutes towards the end, the film’s only saving grace.

Believe the MooCow, he has seen just about every Robo moovie out there, and this one is one of the worst, just plain awful, boring, cheap, and cringy in the extreme, not even good for a laugh or two. As a robo-hero, our DLH is a paunchy, older person wearing loud, gaudy clothes and waaaaay too much make up – who the hell did the make-up on this film, Pennywise?? – and she is simply painful to watch. Its as if some naughty drunk monkey took a copy of Robo CHIC and a copy of Sextette, tossed ’em into a blander, and pressed puree, and out this seeped, like a burst pustule.


Moody went with a 10, while the MooCow and poor shell-shocked Colleen Tidd awarded it 9.5s, giving Robowoman a Stink Total of 29, which was gives it a Stinky Average of 9.7. On the Ladder of Stink Robowoman is tied with Actium Maximus, Moody’s favorite moovie! Man, what a stench! :=8O

There is a trailer: good luck. For those of you who love physical media you can find this flick at Amazon, Walmart, Oldies.com, and Target on DVD, as well in the re-sale market on Ebay. Its a Wild Eye Releasing, so you might get “lucky” and find it there too. You can stream it on Prime, an its haunting Tubi as well, like a malingering odor. You can download the poster at Cinematerial.com, and have DLH’s face stare down at you for all eternity. Have fun with that.

Cud this be the worse Robo-moovie of all time? Its pretty darn close, folks, that’s for sure – but don’t take our word for it, dig up this wretched wreck for yourself and see if the Indie Film Cafe kids are exaggerating or telling the truth but don’t say you weren’t warned!

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Episode 85: Biker Warrior Babe VS the Zombie Babies from Hell (2014)

Would you like to watch a hot, sexy biker warrior babe fight and dispatch a horde of rampaging babies from Hell?? Of course you would, we ALL would!! And now, thanks to the genius of writer/director Jeremiah Morehouse you can see it with your very own eye balls! Yes, Zipp the Too Cool For School warrior babe/Joan Jett wanna-be leather clad hottie has to save her friends and the town of Cranberry Lake, from a horde of mewling, demonic, rampaging babies which erupts from a hell chasm when Lucretia and Succubus, a pair of dippy no-goodniks, try to summon a demon, but just sorta, you know…botch it. Oooopsie, I hate when that happens… ;=8) Shenanigans ensue; check out the latest episode of Indie Film Cafe to hear what the Moody, the MooCow, and special guest co-host fellow filmmaker Ri Maku have to say about this cheesy demon baby howler – AND everyone’s favorite weird uncle Lloyd Kaufman is along for the ride!

Zipp (Brii Davis) and Melissa (Jessica Bloom) have things and stuff to do, like moost fun loving “teenagers”; Melissa is even trying to hook up Zipp with nice but nerdy Doc (Jake Dylman) – but before you can say Awkward Forced Date, Fate has udder plans for these folks! Learn your lessons, kiddies: if yer gonna summon a demon through virgin sacrifice (you know, as you do…), ya better get the details cowrect, or you too might accidentally summon a horde of screaming, crying demon babies to munch on your face and invade your small town. Lucretia (Elise Eden) ends up getting munched, but Succubus (Caitlin Bentley) proves to be much harder to dispatch, even when a pair of shotgun wielding locals blast her. Meanwhile, those babies…they pretty mooch devour the town, until Zipp and her friends manage to figure it out, and she can ride off in the sunset on her Harley to a happy ending.

Just…wow. This was an outrageously silly and fun microbudgeted indie film, and clearly much fun was had while making it. Of course, such productions have their fair share of issues – the lighting and sound are bad sometimes, the FX cheap and laughable, and the setting were…well, wherever they had permission to shoot. But the overall effect is highly entertaining and original, and the MooCow pretty mooch guarantees this flick will put a huge smile on your face! Oh did we mention that it was produced by Thankskilling‘s own Ryan Francis?? Dude makes moovies about killer turkey puppets and demon babies from hell – I want his life!

Mooch fun was had in the Indie Film Cafe studio with this one, folks, and it produced quite a score: Mr. Moody gave the film a 9.5, while the MooCow score it an 8, and Ri Maku went with a 7, giving Biker Warrior Babe vs. the Zombie Babies from Hell a total Stink Score of 24.5, which is a Stinky Average of 8.2! On the Ladder of Stink, this film nestles just below Dark Wolf, and right above Snow Shark, and is just as fun as both of them!

You can check out the trailer HERE. And an-udder one HERE. If there is one moovie that NEEDS a DVD or Blu Ray release its this film; cowever, until that happens you will have to suffice with checking it out on Tubi. and also VUDU. I also found it on 88 Stream Media, but I dunno cow secure that site is. There is no merch as of yet, but there is a Facebook page you can lurk and maybe git some info on a release. The folks at FLIBO seems to like the moovie as well, and we can’t say we blame them.

So hie thee hither, droogies, and clasp thine eyes upon the divine madness that is Biker Warrior Babe vs. the Zombie Babies from Hell – trust the MooCow, you’ll be glad that you did! And let’s hope this feature gets a well-deserved release soon!
:=8D