Episode 31: Blood Predator (2007)

Oh No!!!  its the evil space crickets from HELL!!!

:=8O

Well, that’s what this ridiculous, sci-fi stinker SHOULD have been called, either that or Bugs and Bickering.  In which a group of unpleasant, irritating semi-characters take refuge in a ‘snowy’ cabin in the woods from a ‘storm’, and then fall prey to some of the worst creature fx you will ever see.  They fight the bugs, bicker and argue endlessly among themselves, and finally everything blows up in the end, and we can calk off an-udder hour and a half of the MooCow’s life that he desperately wants back.  Poor James is back for an-udder colossal stinker from the Indie Film Cafe crew – check out the latest PODCAST episode and witness all the groans and moans of excruciating pain.

Poor writing, poor direction, poor editing, poor special effects, and scenes that drone on and on and go nowhere, Blood Predator is moore  constitution test than an actual moovie.  Writer/Director Paul Gagne‘s ‘artistic vision’ is clearly hampered by a severe lack of Benjamins (to say nothing of actual SNOW), and it tantamount to an appalling disaster of biblical proportions the likes of which even the veterans of such stinkers at Indie Film Cafe have barely survived.  But its when James says “That was the worst move I have ever seen in my life” that the MooCow finally cracks a knowing smile…

In addition to our old friend Jump Scare Puma we also have Red Herring Cat and Stock Footage Wolf to keep us company as the dreary parade of bickering non-characters pretend to be frightened and killed off by a bunch of balding, toothy, poorly drawn cgi bugs.  Egads.  No wonder our beleaguered guest James awarded it a 10 on the Stinkometer!  Not to be outdone, the MooCow awarded the film a 9, while Moody went with a 9.5, giving Blood Predator an overall Stink Score of 28.5, and an Stink Average of 9.5!!!  WOW, that is some stinky bug moovie!!!  :=8D

If you REALLY want to see a trailer of this mess, HERE you go, but don’t say you weren’t warned.  If you want you can actually buy this piece of dreck, the Widescreen DVD version, so you can watch every tiny drop of goodness, from Amazon, but trust the MooCow it will be the worst 30 bucks you’ll ever spend.  Kindly (or perhaps not so much) Film Gorillas has put this up for free on Daily Motion.  Barnes & Noble has it too on DVD, and there’s always someone on Ebay looking for a sucker….errr, I mean buyer.

We’re not gonna lie, folks, as cheapy alien mootant bug moovies go, this one is seriously craptastic.  But if yer looking for a way to torment your friends (and who isn’t?), this flick is pretty moooch guaranteed to provide nothing but pain and suffering for a long, long time, and it is IFC-recowmended!
;=8)