Episode 30: Snow Shark (2011)


Snow shark snow shark, snow shark snow shark

Snow shark big ol’ shark of snow;

He’ll bite off your legs, he’ll bite off yer face,

And he’ll hide in two inches of snoooooooowwww…..


Yep, 2019 is gonna be one snarky sharky year here at Indie Film Cafe, and we start off the stinky shark moovie hunt with Snow Shark, a wacky chum bucket of awful shark goodness from director/writer/actor/camera man Sam Qualiana (The Legend of Six Fingers, Post Apocalyptic Commando Shark), and financed by Indigogo!  The moovie is about  group of people from a small town (not unlike that UDDER famous shark moovie) who are terrorized by a hungry, hungry shark – but unlike Amityville, this shark is able to swim around in snow, even just the bare dusting is enough to hide this toothy critter, until he is able to burst out and devour whatever happens to be nearby.

Nom Nom Nom…

Special Guest Johnny Johnson, director of such luminaries as the Skeleton Key series and Plan 9, joined the Indie Film Cafe folks at the Darkstone Entertainment house as they moaned and groaned their way through a food frenzy of stink – check out our latest PODCAST for all the gory details!

Well, in addition to writer/director Sam Qualiana, Snow Shark stars…well, I have no idea who these folks are, apart from the always lovely Jackey Hall.  Well, at least it wasn’t Bigfoot Wars…  Overall the acting as some issues, but nothing worse than your usual microbudget flick.  Some of the practical effects are kind of kewl, and some are…well, special.  And what is with all the bricabrac??  Clearly these guys had lot of fun making this moovie, and you will too if you just sit back and let it happen.

Sorry, pal, but you’ve been upgraded to Bait…

Well, the Stink Scores are in, and it appears that Snow Shark definitely has a palpable bouquet of stink!  Moody gave the film an 8.5, while the MooCow awarded a 7.5, and special guest Johnny Johnson went with a solid 8 – that is a total of 24, and Stinky Average of 8.0!  That’s one stinky shark moovie!

We’ve got trailerage right HERE.  And a longer one HERE.  Watch it on the Tube of You HERE,  And on Amazon HERE.  Beware, this is not the 2013 moovie of the same name.  Too git yer hooves on the physical media, go to Amazon for the DVD, or try Barnes and Noble.  A copy even pops up on Ebay from time to time.  For funsies check out Sam Q’s newest hit single, but be aware that it is a little sideways.  Bloodbath and Beyond does a decent video review HERE.

I’m not just hungry, I’m HANGRY!!!

So while the wacky folks at Indie Film Cafe will be swimming in some seriously bad shark moovie infested waters this year, you can start off with this little indie chomper to put you in the mood.  And watch out for those snow sharks!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s