Episode 126: Cornman: American Vegetable Hero (2001)

Who? Who can save the fragile Earth from the vicious depredations of monsters like Dr. Evil and his horrific minions? Why CORNMAN can, that’s who! With his trusty sidekick, Butter Boy, Cornman is here to save us and protect Truth, Justice, and the American Way, through the power of corn. Corn! CORN!!!

Yes, this a-maize-ing moovie has been brought to you from producer and actor Barak Epstein, and the IFC kids are ready to devour it, digest it, and discuss it on the latest episode of Indie Film Cafe! This time, Moody and the MooCow are joined by sweet, innocent Kira ( a friend from the MooCow’s work), and, ummm…let’s just say she was not prepared for the AWESOME EPIC ADVENTURE she was about to behold! Microbudget madness!

I’m gonna ear ya, I’m gonna ear ya reeeeeeall good!

We’re all suckers for a good, awe-inspiring super hero in this country, which is why our moovie theaters and tv screens are full of ’em, but there is NO super hero quite as…well, something…as this one (well, maybe Puma Man)! There are capes! There are fisticuffs! There is corn! There is butter!! There is punk moosic! There are some cute chicks in showers! There is every essential element for having a good old fashioned good time with Cornman – and just wait ’til the ladies get a load of Butter Boy, and get swoooned off of their feet!

Ok, yes, this is a very silly, and stinky, super hero moovie that is just a lot of fun. Traditional super heroes have never been the MooCow’s cuppa Joe, but weird, wacky ones sure are, and Cornman is one of the weirdest and wackiest! The evil Dr. Hoe is trying to control all the corn in the world for his own wicked purposes, and ummm…its up to Cornman and Butter Boy (ably assisted by The Psychic Nose, who, uhhh, has an amazing nose) to stop him. That’s about it, folks, its none too cowplicated! Its part-time comic book parody, part-time Troma stinker, and a whole lotta backyard fun with the friends and family straight to video nonsense. In fact, our old pal Uncle Lloyd himself from Troma introduces the moovie, and if that’s not a seal of approval then dis cow don’t know what one is! And that epic ending with the battle against CORNSPARAGUS is…something to behold!

What will we do when the Evil Dr. Hoe unleashes the monstrous Cornsparagus on us? WHAT WILL WE DOOOO???

Well, the scores are in, and Cornman actually scored pretty well – Moody gave the flick a 7, while the MooCow went with a 7.5, while newbie Kira went with an 8, giving Cornman: American Vegetable Hero a total score of 22.5, which is a Stinky Average of 7.5! That puts Cornman next to Crater Lake Monster and WonTon Ton: The Dog That Saved Hollywood on the Ladder of Stink!

We found a trailer right HERE. Apparently it is streaming on Yidio, whatever the heck that is. Udderwise you gotta git yer hooves on DVD, which you can from Amazon, INetVideo.com, and/or SRS Cinema. You can also buy the disc re-sale through Ebay. There just aint a lotta swag out there for this film, which is moost unfortunate – cowever, I did find a way to support your love of Cornman through this coffee mug sold at Wallyworld. You can also get digital versions of the film poster at Cinematerial.com and MovieposterDB.com. Apparently the boppy soundtrack was released on vinyl, check out Nasdisc it might pop up one day.


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