Episode 103: Pocket Ninjas (1997)

Hey everyone! Jonathan Moody back here again! This time we are here to talk about Pocket Ninjas. Yes you read that right…. Pocket… Ninjas… sadly disappointed it wasn’t Ninjas that could fit in your pocket but knowing a little bit about this flick I knew It was more or less a 3 Ninjas rip off. And we had to do it in the studio (Well in this case in Paul’s new house) and we had to find some poor soul to watch it with us so we decided to bring in poor Lenore Miller for the latest episode of Indie Film Cafe!

Yes Lenore was back this year when she was visiting VA. We suckered her in to watching Turkish Star Wars which she actually fell asleep to. But did she fall asleep to Pocket Ninjas…No! She was probably very close. She did look pretty bored at times. But at least she stuck through it. Pocket Ninjas was a disaster of a movie. Not the worst thing we’ve ever seen by far but not the greatest either. It was pretty stinky. When you understand that the original director was fired and the other director seem to mesh with what the original director wanted to do (And I think they even brought in one more director to clean it up) it just becomes one incoherent mess

When the original director is our buddy Donald G Jackson you can def see his stamp of quality on the film, mainly with the kids. And his beautiful cinematography choices of showing the lens hood. This movie is no Rollergator – hell its no Baby Ghost either! But the shots Donald did are by far the best of the film. The shots done by the other directors including weird Robert Z’Dar scenes involving a video game and him being another character in the real world. The random montages that just keep happening and go on an on and on… make the movie drag to the point where I’m like why couldn’t ya just keep Donald! 

Lenore was in to it a lot more than I expected. She did find a lot of fault in it but we all did. It was not a movie that can be viewed as even competent. I first heard of this movie when Paul had a poster of it on our wall. I looked in to it and really wanted to do it. This is a movie that Paul knew way more about and has most likely seen way more than I probably ever will. He loves to torture people with bad movies. I don’t feel the same way! All in all this movie was terribly stinky but it gave us a great episode.

The score are in: Lenore was the first one up and though she thinks its a pretty stinky she seemed to like it more than Paul and I did. She gave it 7.5. And I wasn’t as particularly nice and I gave it a 9. And Paul went a step below and gave it a 8.5 making it a total of 25, which puts it with Alien Beasts, Ankle Biters, Cat Women on the Moon, Darkwolf, and Prehistoric Bimbos From Armageddon City. That’s a Stinky Average of 8.3! Boy is that interesting group of movies! 

Well that’s it for me! Paul will be taking over and telling ya fine gents and ladies where you can find this stink bomb!

Moo everyone! Git yer Pocket Ninjas trailerage right HERE. See the whole moovie for free on Youtube! Oh, so you want a physical copy that you can hold and caress to enjoy all that stinky badness? Well, yer in luck because Uncle Amazon has it on dvd for you! And also Oldies.com! And you can find it on Ebay too. I even found a vhs copy on Listia! It seems pretty unlikely that this feeble flick will ever see the light of day as a Blu ray, but should it happen you will know about it here first! Trust me, there is not a lot of Pocket Ninja swag out there, I know huge surprise, but you can download the digitals of two different posters on GoldPoster.com, and, ummm, that’s about it.

For unbridled failure, few flicks can top Pocket Ninjas, but you can’t blame poor Donald G. Jackson for this one!

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