The title pretty mooch sums up the plot of this one: one “Flesh Gordon” does indeed meet the Cosmic Cheerleaders, all three of them, for about 5 minutes. In between a lot of weird shenanigans goes on, moostly involving cheap potty humor, boob humor, butt humor, penis humor, poo humor, etc. Dale Ardor, Flesh’s fiancé, is kidnapped by Robunda Hooters and the Cheerleaders because their planet’s men have been infected by Evil Presence’s “Impotence Radiation”. They believe Flesh is the possessor of “The Virile Force” and that he alone can stop the ray. EP soon learns this from Master Bator, Presence’s equally-deviant assistant, and so EP decides to kidnap Flesh, replace his penis with Flesh’s, thereby to become the only virile man in the universe.
Ummmmmmmm…..yeah.
:=8/
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There’s about a million udder things going on in this weird, frisky little stinker, which is, strangely, a less adult sequel to a moore adult previous Flesh Gordon X-rated flick from 1974 (ahhh, porn in the 70’s, when everyone was hairy and pizza delivery was an experience!). Clearly moore heart and soul (to say nothing of moolah) went in to this effort because there are loads of cheap, but effective, sets, special effects, creature effects, and just overall weirdness to this one – that, plus the over the top performances of pretty mooch everyone made it a surprisingly fun stinker to watch – just remember to set your brain on “DUH”, and you’ll be just fine. And if you like singing poos….
Howard Ziehm wrote and directed this cowsmic stinker – he’s pretty mooch a porn guy, moost famously known for his sci-fi porn parody Flesh Gordon (check out a future Sexploitation Sleazecast podcast episode for moore of that!), and for silly 70’s porn titles such as Sexteen, Honey Pie, Sweet Cakes, and Hot Cookies, etc. He also wrote a book called Take Your Shame and Shove It, wherein he wallows unrepentedly in his years and years of creating and profiting from dirty filthy slime-and-snot-covered smut – we should all be so lucky! Aside from the bevy of porn stars and adult models, this flick also starred stuntman and kickboxer Vince Murdocco (Kickboxer II, LA Wars, Ring of Fire), William Dennis Hunt (Dr. Giggles, Critters III, Star Trek: Deep Space 9) as Emperor Wang (in BOTH Flesh Gordon moovies!), and Tony Travis (Ghost Warrior, Die Hard with a Vengeance, Hitch) as Flesh’s adventure buddy, Dr. Flexi Jerkoff.
Well, the scores are in, and while moost of the young’uns liked the film overall, Moody and the MooCow went with 8 and 8.5, respectively, while grumpy ol’ G. Larry Butler went charitable and scored it a 5, giving Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders a Stinky Total of 21.6, and that’s a Stinky Average of 7.2! Odoriferous, to be sure, but we’re smelled far worse on this program!
We have a trailer right HERE. Somecow this made it onto Netflix. U can git yer hooves on both the VHS and the DVD from good ol’ Uncle Amazon, but this cow has not seen a Blu Ray offered quite yet. and for you hardcore Flesh Gordon fans you can also get both the original Flesh Gordon and the stinky sequel packaged together on one DVD, with special full color moovie cards, right HERE! Strangely, u can also get this on Walmart. And also Target! You can also grab a copy from Movies Unlimited. On the re-sale market, check out EBAY. Get the moovie poster right HERE, HERE, and HERE. While we cud not find a new Tee shirt, you can get this nifty unused crew sweatshirt to rock from EBAY! Tee Public has the poster on a coffee mug – u know you want it! You can get it on a mouse pad too!
Overall, Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders is a ridiculous stinky sex farce that probably needs to be seen by everybody at least once in their lives, if only for shits n gigs. Check out THIS behind the scenes cowpilation if u can’t get enough Flesh Gordon! Because who doesn’t get a lil kick outta da Flesh Man??
;=8)
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