Episode 90: Killer Biker Chicks (2009)

Need a lesson in rank disappointment? Behold 2009’s Killer Biker Chicks, a mooovie that shoulda been a whole lotta fun with babes, bikes, beatings, barroom brawls, and perhaps even boobage – but nooooooo, instead we’re talking total snooozefest that drove Moody, the MooCow, and special guest co-host Cayt Feinics (a babe in her own right!) to wailing despair. What a waste!!! Hear the Indie Film Cafe kids moan and groan over the latest podcast episode!

After 99 excruciating minutes the MooCow still doesn’t know what the heck was going on in this film – its like a biker big sister to Ankle Biters in that there are loooong stretches where you can’t hear or see anything clearly, and its way too easy to get lost in the chili sauce because you have no idea what’s happening. Sure, there skeezy, sexy biker babes with guns, but there needs to be moore than that! Plus, why are we spending so mooch time with Sheriff Dumb and Deputy Dumber? Seriously, a moovie with Trent Haaga (Easter Bunny Kill! Kill!, et al) and Sarah French (Zombie Pirates, et al) shoulda been a lot moore fun…

Look, we get it, its fun to do a jerky, unfocused throw-back grindhouse all-chick biker flick, like She-Devils on Wheels, and udder such drive-in fare of the good old stinky B moovie days, but even those were a lot moore interesting and better executed. Ted V. Mikels actually makes an appearance, and it just makes you yearn for some of the older biker/go-go dancer flicks (The Girl in the Gold Boots aside). Regan Redding (who plays Sheriff Dumb) is the writer/producer/director of this feeble flick, and if you don’t know him he was a production assistant on Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest, and….that’s about it.

Well, at least scoring was easy: 10’s from everyone! Just when u thought there would be no 30’s on IFC this year! Yeah, pretty mooch everyone agreed that Killer Biker Chicks was a long, dull slog that was absolutely not worth the effort. While this might tie such Neil Breen classics as Fateful Findings and Twisted Pair, this moovie isn’t nearly as fun or interesting as those.

Trailerage is right HERE. Yo can find the DVD at Best Buy, Barnes & Noble, Walmart and good ol’ Uncle Amazon; u can also find a copy in the re-sale market at Ebay. This cow cud not find any moovie-related swag (which is probably a good thing), BUT if yer enamored of the film’s soundtrack you can listen to it (and get your Glam Pussy on!) right HERE. There are a couple of tracks on Spotify too, for whatever reason. It was shot in Las Vegas (of course), and the Sun did a write-up HERE.

With a title like Killer Biker Chicks, we know yer gonna be tempted to git yer hooves all over that DVD, but that’s why the IFC kids are here, folks: watching bad, stinky moovies so you don’t have to! unless, of course, they’re a whole lotta fun! Sadly, this one is not, but proceed at yer own risk – don’t say you weren’t warned!

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