Episode 75: Dark Wolf (2003)

Hello friends – are you looking for 10 minutes of nude lesbian interpretive werewolf dancing? Sure, we all are, and the MooCow is here to tell you that you get all that, and sooooo much moore, from 2003’s Dark Wolf, that you simply moost git yer claws on a copy right this freakin’ instant! Bad dialog, terrible sets, poor writing, and shitty CGI fx that wouldn’t pass muster in a 8-bit game from 1986, all of that AND Kane Hodder and Tippi Hedren, await you in this weird, wacky, dime store werewolf flick that is short on…well, everything, but looooong on stinky entertainment! So sit back and listen to the MooCow, Moody, and special guest co-host Just Jenn (back for some moore stinky fun!) as then giggle and moan over the latest stinky moovie podcast EPISODE!

Sweet waitress Josie, played by Samaire Armstrong (Entourage, the OC, The Mentalist), is being stalked by Biker Guy Kane Hodder (he pretty mooch is Jason Voorhees), a ‘dark prince’ of hybrid werewolves, because…reasons. Well, she’s a sort of weird semi-wolf. Wise street lady Mary (The Birds’ Tippi Hedren) tells bad joke-telling bedhead cop Turley (Ryan Alosio) to protect her because if dark wolfie has fun and frolics with Josie then…bad stuff. And she has a mysterious 900 year old book to ‘prove’ it. Purple pantsuit-wearing McGowan (Jaime Bergman, David Boreanaz ex-Playmate wife) doesn’t believe them, of course, since its all nonsense, and gets et, along with some udder various folks, including an entire precinct of cops, until Josie FINALLY shuts her yap and shoots the bad wolf in the eye with a silver bullet (the only way to kill him, it would appear), and he falls off the building to his death. Or DOES he?? Oh, and friends Stacy (Andrea Bogart) and Anna (Sasha Craig) perform the amazing werewolf dance – which frankly shoots the film high up into stinky heaven! Grrr! Grrr!

Wow, where the heck did this one come from?? The Indie Film Cafe kids were blindsided by this one, a dvd copy literally just popped into a dollar store one day, and naturally the MooCow found it – as stinky fate would have it. Well, as bad and boring as Just Jenn found this film, she actually gave it the best score: 7.5! The MooCow went with an 8.5, and Mr. Moody went with a full on 9.0, giving Dark Wolf a total Stink Score of 25, and that’s a Stinky Average of 8.3! Fairly odoriferous stuff here, my friends! On the Ladder of Stink, Dark Wolf is right there with Ankle Biters, Cat Women of the Moon, and Prehistoric Bimbos from Armageddon City! ARRROOOOOOOOO!!!!!

We gotsts a TRAILER right here for you! And you can actually see the whole ridiculous thing for free on YouTube. Its also on Netflix! Ah, maybe its funnier in Italian?? For you physical media freaks out there (just like me!), you can find the dvd and the vhs tape on Uncle Amazon! Cheapie versions pop up on Ebay all the dam n time too. AND you can find it on Oldies.com too! Cudn;t find a poster to buy, but you can download a digital version HERE. And if you loved the soundtrack sooo much that you want to perform your OWN nude lesbian interpretive werewolf dance (no judging!), then check it out HERE! I wish I cudda found moore Dark Wolf merch but there just isn’t mooch out there, sad to say. HorribleHorrors covers it onm Youtube, and someone made a KillCount video, but that’s about it. Seriously, everyone and their little brother needs to see this stinky flick, it is a total hoot!

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