Episode 68: Bride of the Monster (1955)

Ok kiddies, its time to tamper in God’s domain once again here at Indie Film Cafe, and that can only mean one thing: good ol’ Ed Wood!!! :=8D Yes, we’ve gone back to the wacky world of Edward D. Wood, Jr. for a lovable B&W horror stinker that is chock full of schlock! And its brimming over with Bela Lugosi, Tor Johnson, and moore bad octopus stock footage than you can shake a stick at – all this, AND the first appearance of Kelton the Cop too? Stay tuned to check out the LATEST EPISODE, where Moody, the MooCow, and special guest Rebecca Rinehart (on loan from In the Mic of Madness, SOBs Who Love SOV, & Sexploitatin Sleazecast) hoot an howl their way through this Ed Wood classic cheeser!

Tor find, Tor keep, Tor love and pet and squeeze!

So it turns out there are some straaaaaange things a-happenin’ up at the old Willow’s place: hunters are gettin’ et, there’s a mysterious doctor with a dark past, and with his mute, angora-petting, balding assistant, and a bunch of bad actors who manage to star in a film because they or their family financed it! The cops, including a police Captain with his lovable pet parakeet, send rank amateur Tony McCoy up to investigate after rank amateur reporter Loretta King disappears. In between, Kelton the cop schmoozes his way into film legend. There is some drama, a pissed-off Dolores Fuller, some fisticuffs, a mishmash of octopus stock footage and a non-functioning octopus marionette, and hey presto! Ed Wood gold!

So here’s the Bride…but which Monster will she marry?

This moovie is such weird, goofy fun, a classic stinker that cowbines low, low budget, bad acting, a poor script, cheap sets, and an innocent yearning by the director to make a throwback horror flick from the 30’s and 40’s, at least a decade too late. Ol’ Bela is actually pretty good, and his famous dramatic mooments come in this flick – you can pretty much always count on Bela Lugosi to class up a moovie, even one as stinky as as what Ed Wood cud cowcoct. Newbie McCoy and Wood vet Harvey B. Dunn are both solid as well, although the rest of the cast is either hammy or uncowvincing. And Ed Wood’s dialog? Well, we KNOW what you said, but we didn’t hear you.

Yessssss…come to Bela….

Well, the votes are in! Both Moody and the MooCow awarded 8’s to this classic schlocker from Ed Wood. Ms. Rebecca was a little kinder, having seen much worse junk in her time – and can believe her! She went with a 5, giving Bride of the Monster a total Stink Score of 21, which is a Stink Average of 7.0. On the IFC Ladder of Stink, Bride of the Monster is tied with The Giant Claw at 21, just udder Grizzly Rage, and just above an-udder Ed Wood classic, Night of the Ghouls! Its probably Ed Wood’s best moovie, although that’s honestly not saying very, well, much…

Trailers can be found HERE; watch the moovie for free on the Tube of You. Its on Vimeo too. You can also check out the hi-larious MST3K version there too! To git yer hot little hooves on a DVD or VHS copy, head on over to Uncle Amazon to slack thy Ed Wood thirst! You can get the Mystie version there too, or head over to Shout Factory and get the dvd bundled with 3 udder stinkers! You can also get Howard Shore’s reinterpretation of the Bride of the Monster Theme, which was featured in the moovie Ed Wood. Get the classic poster from Amazon, or an original lobby card from Ebay! And if you REALLY have some dough to waste check out this original 1956 signed POSTER, which includes an autograph from Conrad Brooks and William Benedict! Redbubble has the classic poster on a kewl tee shirt, as does Teepublic, and fancy Brit store Poison Clothing has a great black ladies-cut tee! And who wouldn’t want to sip their moorning java out of a kewl Bride of the Monster coffee mug? Wanna nifty paperback book with all the inside Ed Wood scoop on BOTM? Check it out HERE!

Really, Bela, you’d have made a great photographer, the way you ENLARGE everything…

So if yer lookin’ for a classic stinker with all that tasty, tasty Ed Wood flavor, you needs to give Bride of the Monster a go! Before Bela tosses a fit…

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