Episode 135: Cemetery High (1988)

Welcome back to Indie Film Cafe, everyone, and now its time for a classic 80’s exploitation cheeser from 1988 called Cemetery High, written and directed by Gorman Bechard, and starring the snuggly Debi Thibeault, Ruth Collins, and Frank Stewart. On the latest episode catch Moody, the MooCow, and VERY special guest co-host Tina Krause as they chatter and chitter about this fun flick – and strap yerself in, this one is a LOOOONG one!

What the NRA wants high school to look like…

So this is basically a cheap, chick revenge flick, like Ms .45 with an even smaller budget, in which all the innocent high school girls who have been done wrong by slimy, stinky MEN in their lives get their revenge by blasting them with shotguns, chopping them up with chainsaws, and various udder not-fun ways, although moostly off-camera. Basically its a chance to check out a bunch of hot chicks with weapons – and who doesn’t want to see that?? It was also known as Assault of the Killer Bimbos, which kind of says it all, right? It was cheap, silly, and made for late night TV, and when something ‘naughty’ was going to happen the film makers thoughtfully warned us with the regrettable “Hooter Honk” and “Gore Gong” to warn you to get young eyes away from the television! But the joke’s on you, ’cause there is neither to be had. LAME!!! :=8o

Ummm…I think we’re gonna need a hooter honk for this… :=8o

Yeah, there’s just not a whole lot to say about this one, the title says it all. Gorman Bechard is a B-moovie veteran, havign helmed such 80’s fare as Galactic Gigolo, Psychos in Love, Disconnected, and then later mooved on to writing, rpoducing, and directing short films, documentaries, and udder media – including Who is Lydia Loveless and Pizza: A Love Story! His latest offering was Old Friends, a Dogumentary, about what happens to old dogs when their owners no longer want them. Yeah, bring back the hot chicks with weapons, I say… :=8(

This is definitely moore fun…

Debi Thibeault had herself a mooment in the 80’s when she was in a few of these cheesy, sleazy-wanna be stinkers, including the aforementioned Psychos in Love, Galactic Gigolo, and Death Collector – and funnily enough, she also starred in another flick called Assault of the Killer Bimbos, this one directed by Anita Rosenberg, also in 1988 – when great minds think alike! That one is mooch more well-known, and also stars Elizabeth Kaitan and Nick Cassavettes, so its safe to see why Director Bechard chose to re-name this one. Snuggly B-Queen Ruth Collins from Doom Asylum, Blood Sisters, Party Girls, and Witch Academy is also on hand to sex the film up. We get fake cowmmercials, the characters break the 4th wall sometimes just…because, and there are a lot of bad jokes, all of which adds to the stinky bouquet.

Yeah, it ain’t gonna end well for this slimeball…

Well the votes are in, and yeahhh, Cemetery High definitely has an odoriferous stench cowming off of it – Moody went with a 6, the MooCow a 9, and our favorite Scream Queen Tina Krause also went with a 9, even though she has NO idea the stinky depths to which the MooCow can sink with these flicks! That is a Stink Total of 24, and a Stinky Average of 8.0, tying with a whole lotta crappy moovies on the Ladder of Stink, including the likes of Snow Shark, the Sinister Urge, Robot VS the Aztec Mummy, etc!

We gots us a trailer right HERE. There is an-udder on VIMEO. Check it out for free on Tubi! Buy the DVD or the VHS from Amazon! You can also grab a new copy from Barnes & Noble , FYE, Best Buy, and Walmart. Also Full Moon Features. if yer lookin’ re-sale, check out Ebay! 3 kinds of digital posters can be downloaded from CineMaterial.com. Debi Thibeault pops up on CultCelebrities.com, so check that out too. Weird Wild Realm does a fun review of this moovie you should check out as well!

You got anything with puppets??

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