Month: February 2020

Ackkkk!  He’s a zombie!  He’s a cop!!  He’s ZOMBIE COP!!!  and he’s not looking for doughnuts!
:=8o

Yep, it seems our boy in blue gets killed when he gets into a shoot out with a voodoo priest named Doctor Death (hint: if yer doctor is named Doctor Death you might wanna find an-udder physician…) – both of them rise form the grave and become shabbily dressed zombies: Doc Death wants world domination, of course, and Zombie Cop wants to stop him!  Fun and shenanigans follows.  Check out the latest Indie Film Cafe EPISODE to hear all the moans and groans of pain and suffering.

Soooo, this is the Indie Film Cafe’s second go with Tempe’s J.R. Bookwater (joining Season 2’s review of Polymorph), and, well, let’s just say this this season’s offering is somewhat moore…odoriferous.  :=8P  Honestly, this is one of Tempe‘s early, no-budget stinkers, and it is sooooo bad that Bookwater himself pretty moooch disowned it.  The acting,  cinematography, editing, and moosic are all quite bad, but its the extended scene padding that really turns this stinker from a misdemeanor to a felony (see what i did there?).  But check out that hot zombie cop action!
Yeah, its pretty mooch a snoozefest here, folks, and that is not good.  Neil Breen, are you hearing some footsteps??

Wow.  Moody, Leila, and Bobby were stunned like dead carp after this one; Leila might actually have become broken, curled up in a fetal position on the ground sobbing unconcowtrollably into her Coke Zero.  Moody was looking to up his stink game for IFC, and it seems he found the right one.  Tens all around!  Finally, we have a cowtendor to Neil Breen as to the stinkiest crapfest in moovie history!  That’s a 30 on the Stinkometer, folks, and an average Stink Score of 10.

Trailerage is right HERE.  Although hard to find on its own, you can get the Bad Movie Police double feature dvd, sporting both Zombie Cop and Maximum Impact, from yer old pal Uncle Amazon.  For those of you who simply cannot fathom wasting yer hard-earned moolah on such horrific dribble, some kind soul has uploaded Zombie Cop to the Tube of You.  And clearly you need to be drinking your joe out of a zombie cop mug while you watch, because why the heck not??  Ciao!  Get yer Italian moovie-inspired Zombie Cop POSTER to decorate your room too, whydoncha?

Maybe its because cop costumes are cheap as hell, but there were a LOT of bad cop horror moovies in the 80’s and 90’s, and even later, (Maniac Cop, Demon Cop, Psycho Cop, Vampire Cop, etc..), but Zombie Cop cud very well be the worst offender of them all!  Its an early cowtender for worst moovie in Season 3, will an-udder stinker rise to the challenge?  Stay tuned to find out!
;=8)

Oh my my my.  “Baby Ghost”.  What a moovie!  But cow cud anything made with the star power of Donald G. Jackson, Joe Estevez, and Conrad Brooks , the folks who gave us the amazing Roller Gator, even come close to failing?  Well when yer titular ‘baby ghost’ is little moore than a puppet on a string, projected off-camera, and your actors have to pretend to be terrified of it…yeah, and it all goes down hill from there.  But what a snazzy little theme song!  Listen to the latest Indie Film Cafe PODCAST, this time from the glitz and glamor of Los Angeles, to hear what you’ve been missing!  Oh, and grab yerself a few doughnts, and maybe a shot or two, yer gonna need ’em!

;=8)

Joe Estavez, Conrad Brooks, and Erin O’Bryan try their best, but the script (!!!) gives them virtually nothing to do except bumble incompetently and pretend to be afraid of this ridiculous, green, giggling off-screen puppet on a string.  The unfunny “Home Alone” wannabe New York robbers and amateur kid actors make things even worse.  And, as usual, there are lots of inappropriate music clips in the background, selected, one assumes, not from their quality but because they must have been free.  If you cud imagine “Home Alone”, “Ghost Busters”, and “Baby Geniuses” put in a blender, and set on puree, this is pretty mooch what you’d get!  Poorly filmed, poorly lit, and poorly written, “Baby Ghost” is nonetheless a lot of stinky fun!

Well, yer old pal the MooCow cudn’t help himself, and awarded “Baby Ghost” an 8.5, while newly west coast ensconced Moody gave it a 9.5.  Our new LA Confidential, Leila Toba, felt moore generous, and awarded the film a 6, giving the film a Stink Total of 24, and a Stink Average of 8.0!  Pretty stinky stuff, but not quite Neil Breen territory.

Well, there is kind of a trailer for this film HERE, although it may not be 100% serious.  The always fun Everything is Terrible bunch did a fun 3 minute Baby Ghost mash-up HERE.  You can watch the glory for yourself on Amazon Prime, and its only a $1.99!!!  Or hie thee hither to Scott Shaw’s website to get yer hooves on yer own physical copy!  And if yer like poor Leila, and you can’t get the boppy theme moosic out of your head, check out this VIDEO.

Ok, “Baby Ghost” is a very bad film where not mooch happens – but it is always great fun to see Joe Estevez and Conrad Brooks working with Donald G. Jackson and Scott Shaw: they just don’t make ’em like this anymoore!  So, does that mean the 3rd in the Jackson/Shaw Kiddie Trilogy, “Little Lost Sea Serpent” will be making a future appearance on Indie Film Cafe???  You’ll just have to keep on watching…
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