Ahhhh, November; a light breeze holds notes of spices and warm happiness on the crispy, autumn air, portending family, friends, and a holiday celebration bursting with tasty food. Cowversely, it also portends yet an-udder crappy TURKEY moovie here at Indie Film Cafe, and boy do we have a drum stick for you! Yes, its the 1972 Brad F. Grinter classic Blood Freak, starring burned, ex-Spanish Tarzan Steve Hawkes as a square-jawed hippy turned into a gobbling turkey headed monster who drinks the blood of drug addicts, thanks to some schwag weed. Oh yeah, folks, it is an instant classic! With our Science Expert Miss Lenore wisely bowing out, it was up to Charlottesville’s own auteur-in-residence, Darkstone‘s John Johnson, to heroically stand in and face the howling gale of stink that is Blood Freak: check out the latest Indie Film Cafe podcast to see who survived an extra helping of TURKEY INSANITY!!!!
Poor Herschell – caught between good Christian girl Angel and naughty sexpot Anne, he gets caught up in partying, drug dealing, and experimental turkeys, and winds up both the victim and the antagonist in this monster moovie/Christian drug scare film that has to be seen to be believed. Director Brad F. Grinter himself appears as the omniscient narrator, who coughs his way through the film, explaining everything by reading off of the script like it was no big thang. The production levels are low, the acting is generally bad (in spite of the fact that Grinter was himself an acting teacher, and most of the cast were his students), and the special effects were poverty-row miserable. Heck, even the one and only gore scene was pretty pathetic. and behold the Attack of the Howling Man-Woman! :=8O
However, the film is the only moovie specifically endorsed by the Southern Baptist Convention for its positive Christian message to pray to god and avoid drugs. At one point, during a supposed-drug party, a hippy sticks what looks like Chapstick up her nose, to ‘snort’. Egads, even the dozens of black velvet tiger pictures were embarrassed at his point…
Yeah, this one just sorta left the whole herd shaking their heads in disbelief. As for scoring, well Moody and the MooCow, both hearty stink vets, awarded Blood Freak 9.5s, while a highly amoosed John Johnson kindly awarded a 7.5, which generates a total Stink Score of 26.5, and a Stink Average of 8.8: very stinky!!! :=8D
Stuff yourself with the trailer for this gem HERE. Some kind soul put the whole thing up on the Tube of You – check it out HERE. COWever, if yer like me (and I sincerely hope you are not), and you prefer to have the physical medium to hold and cuddle to your chest, the head over to Amazon for the Special Edition dvd! Copies also pop up on Ebay from time to time; Breast Buy has it in a dvd double feature with a 1973 film called The Pyx, with Karen Black! And yes, you can still find VHS copies on Amazon, if that spices yer pumpkin. And check out this nifty Blood Freak tee shirt from TEEPUBLIC! The MooCow got one, you should too! Get the classic poster at CineMaterial! Teepublic also has a kewl Blood Freak MAGNET which would look very classy stuck on yer ‘fridge! Finally, Temple of Schlock has a nice little remembrance site for the now sadly-departed Steve Hawkes. He was truly a turkey for all seasons…
Well, if your family needs a hot turkey stuffed with craziness, you can’t really go wrong with a big ol’ heapin’ slice of Blood Freak. Its a tasty treat of stink that has earned the Indie Film Cafe seal of approval – bring a copy to your next Thanksgiving feast, and see if anybody bothers to argue about politics again!