Episode 130: A Better Place (1997)

Hey everybody Jonathan Moody here and welcome to Season 6! Yes we’re finally out of Season 5 and in to Season 6. We are stoked for this! Season 5 was a fun year but oh boy this one has been very interesting so far. To start it all off I decided to do a movie I tried to do last year but the disc wouldn’t work so I had to order a brand new disc from Ebay and I am quite happy with it. I decided we finally needed to see, “A Better Place”… and thankfully a better disc cause it actually worked. Once again I am joined by co host Paul A Presenza and our special guest Joe Turek on this NEW EPISODE

Now both of these guys haven’t seen A Better Place. And they knew nothing about it, really. All they knew was that Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier produced it and that Vincent Periera directed it. And thank God that’s all they knew. This was a film done for the View Askew universe. It really didn’t have many connections to that world except one character we are all pretty sure (And I believe the commentary proved it to be so) that he was the same character from Clerks… As they call him in this movie Whipporwill Asshole played by Lee Benedick who was “#12 Wynarksi” in Clerks… The “No time for love Doctor Jones” guy that Randal runs in to. I wonder if he ever found his keys? Maybe that’s why he’s such an asshole in this one. 

Why do I only run into you teenage slackers I want my movie!

Shot a few years after Clerks I believe around 96 or 97. It was released in 1997 during a Kevin Smith film festival called Vulgarthon. It’d be nice if they brought that back. According to Wikipedia It’s budget was about 100,000 dollars (tho I do remember its was smaller than that, my guess is 50 K). It was shot on film and shot in NJ where the writer/director Vincent Periera lives.  Periera was a big part in Kevin Smith becoming a cinefile. Both of them would go see midnight screenings at the Angelika together. After Smith blew up with Clerks he helped fund a few projects from his friends like Perieria’s A Better Place, Malcolm Ingram/Matt Gissing’s Drawing Flies, Bryan Johnson’s Vulgar, and Brian Lynch’s Big Helium Dog. 

The logline to the movie is as follows by Vincent himself: 

Two high school outcasts (Barret, the new kid in school, and Ryan, a self-confessed misanthrope with a violent past) form an obsessive friendship which spirals out of control and ends in murder. 

That is pretty much the movie in a nutshell. The two outcasts become friends and things keep spiraling out of control. What I loved most about it is it’s a movie that makes you think. Especially think in sort of a darker way. You can sort of relate to a lot of the characters and you really feel sorry for both Barret and Ryan. However the ends don’t justify the means and when you watch the film you will see how quickly disturbing things tend to turn. 

There are a few more characters in the movie including a jock named Todd and his friends who want to get revenge on Ryan for kicking Todd’s ass. There is also Augustine (Carmen Llwelyn) and Eddie (Brian Lynch) who both become friends with Barret and makes Ryan very jealous. There’s also a couple View Askew actors who show up in parts including Jason Lee (who has two parts in this), Scott Mosier, and Ethan Suplee. We are always happy to see Ethan pop up in everything!  

I would say more but honestly I’d rather you seek out and find it yourself. Right now it’s only available on DVD but the Blu Ray is supposedly coming out from what Vincent has told me personally. Hell I’d love a 4K of this flick. It has the most beautiful outdoor shots I’ve seen since Badlands.

When do I get to see the sailboat???

And now the scores are in… 

Paul and Joe both seemed to really like it. Though Joe and I liked it a lot better… Paul isn’t so big on movies with teen characters. However these teens are definitely played by characters older than teens. Still he is not in to that. I gave it a 2 on the Stinkometer, Joe gave it a 1.5, and Paul gave it a 4.5 giving it a total score of 8. That puts it up on the Ladder of Stink next to Hey, Stop Stabbing Me; Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter; and Arcade, and is a Stinky Average of 2.7 – not a bad group to be with. In fact I’d watch all those movies again and again. And probably have. 

Well that is the beginning of this next season. We have a lot more in store for you. Get ready! Until then though Paul is gonna take over and tell its all where you can get some A Better Place Schwag! Take it away Paul….

MOO! While I do feel A Better Place was a pretty good flick I am cowcerned that we are upping the quality of moovies around here – THAT WILL NOT STAND!! :=8O

I gots no trailer for yeh. There might be one out there floating around, but I don’t has it. I can tell you that it is playing on Reelgood and you can buy it on either DVD or VHS on Amazon, where it is also on Prime. Apparently you can rent it at DVD.com too. You can also find copies in the re-sale market, especially Ebay. There is not mooch schwag out there for this film, unfortunately, but there are a number of good reviews and write ups, including Film Threat, Pulsing Cinema, Music Geek.org, and udder Youtube reviews. Also, if you buy the Amazon dvd there is a special Easter Egg you need to look for in the commentary!


Episode 129: ZuZu Queen of the Monsters (2007)

Moo! Well, the Indie Film Cafe kids somecow made it all the way through Season 5, but not before the season went out with a BANG – the MooCow found this adorably stinky, fun, wacky kids kaiju flick, and he just hadda share it! Check out the Season 5 finale with Moody, the MooCow, and poor, long-suffering Just Jenn on the latest episode of Indie Film Cafe, and look out for all those RAMPAGING MONSTERS!!! :=8O


Sooooo…were there any monsters? Well, kinda-sorta. Were they rampaging?? Well, not so much. Let’s just say that there was a lot less rampaging going on, and a lot moore just hanging around looking cheap and silly and adorable. Some of them had strings, and some of them were puppets, both of which are pluses in this cow’s mind! In which our wonderful Overlord Queen Zuzu, along with her adorable sidekicks Dog and Cat, have to save the earth from the EVIL QUEEN PUPU and her ‘Atomic Evil Set to DESTROY Every Living Thing on Earth!!!” And its all new, all live NOT a cartoon! AND it features guest appearances including the Easter Bunny, the Mad Hatter, and about 20 minutes of the Academy Award winning 1956 French children’s film The Red Balloon. Will the earth be destroyed by FrankenPuPu??? WHAT MOORE CUD YOU POSSIBLY WANT??? :=8O

Oh NO! its the Evil Queen Pupu performing her DARK MAGIC with a balloon and old TV and a red tarp!

Well, I suppose you might want something to actually happen. Or monsters. or just, you know, stuff. Well don’t you spoiled rotten kids just want everything! :=8P

Awlright, so not a whole lot actually happens in this moovie, although it is quite cute to see all the weird and cheap characters and effects, plus if you like dopey-talking dogs and cats you’ll give this moovie a few hooves up as well. The Red Balloon footage does add girth to this fairly slight flick, but it also drags the moovie down to a crawl, which is a shame because I wanted a whole lot moore interactions with the fun characters! I imagine even smaller children will not have the patience to put up with too much of this stuff, but you can image what poor Moody and Just Jenn had to go through! I mean, its no Miss Werewolf (and nothing else in the world cud be!), but when yer friends aren’t quite as enamored with the critters and silly dialog and effects as you are, well, let’s just say there was not a lot of cheering going around the room while watching Queen Zuzu. And that’s kind of a shame, because it is a very creative and full and silly film, if yer in the right mood, and you are forgiving in your heart.

All this goodness comes from the mind of one Ace Fronton , he who gave the world such delights as Frankenstein VS Hitler and Night of the Fools (reviewed by IFC!). He also made a moovie called Mondo Naked Witch in 1990 which the MooCow is dying to git his hooves on! He’s a writer, director, editor, producer AND cinematographer, all on his own personal weird little projects, of course, and he makes the kind of micro-budget lil indies that the MooCow just loves. Moost of ’em are shorts, but ZuZu was a full hour, at least after it was padded out with Red Balloon footage. Is that cheating? Well, yeah, probably, but think of the children, won’t someone please think of the children???

I believe everyone else involved in the production has worked mainly on his udder home moovie flicks, and not mooch else. Yahuba Daly played both Queen Zuzu AND Queen Pupu, and is listed as the film’s producer.

GAHHHHH!!! What is THAT?? :=8O Its Pulala!!

Well, the votes are in, and yeahhhhhhh, unaimous 10’s all the way around, even though it broke the MooCow’s furry little child-like heart. but this is one of those 30’s that you really should go out and find because in the right mood you will have moore than few chuckles! That score shoots the moovie right up to Stinky heaven, along with Neil Breen, Miss Werewolf, and a hold of udder classics endured by the Indie Film Cafe kids.

Is there a trailer?? You bet yer booties THERE IS! and it rocks!
Sadly, the link this cow had to order the film is no moore, and there is almoost nothing out there on this film, woe betide! Ok, someone on DeviantArt.com did make a Queen Zuzu picture. so SOMEONE cares. RobertHood.net had the scoop on where to buy, and has a great synopsis of the film, but there just isn’t much out there anymoore, which makes me sad. If a new link to buy comes out you can be sure we will let everyone know. LONG LIVE QUEEN ZUZU!!!

Thanks again to everyone for hanging in throughout a glorious Season 5, and please join us for an even MOORE glorious (is that even possible??) Season 6 at Indie Film Cafe!!


Episode 128: Tropical Vampire (2016)

Soooo, are you ready for a weird, flamboyant Brazilian vampire flick that doesn’t make a lick of sense?? Well git ready for Tropical Vampire, AKA Vampiro 40º, directed by a madman named Marcelo Santiago, who previously did some wackadoodle tv stuff for wackadoodle Brazilian television, and such moovies as Carnal Utopia (2006), Barretão (2019), and Lula, the Son of Brazil (2009). I dunno cow weird those udder flicks are, but this one was both strange and enjoyable. This episode the MooCow inflicted this odd vampire flick on Jonathan Moody AND Sarah Adkins, both of which were somewhat puzzled.

Get ready for loads of weird, unnecessary maskage…

If you were to mix in Sin City with Underworld, and mix in a little modern trashy neon-soaked dystopian setting, and a dash of Abel Ferrera’s Addiction, well…you might get a headache, but you might also get at least a whiff of what this moovie was aiming for. Vlak, who has a tracking chip implanted in his fangs, and his buddy/sidekick Michele, sell vampire drugs to non-vampires, a weird powder, for the Limbo Corporation – as you do – until he gets tired of it and decides to go his own way, which naturally sett he LIMBOMAN after him. Michele wants to keep on keepin’ on, so she teams up with Draco, a shady, scuzzy vamp who hates Vlak, but then Draco meets Daphne, a psychotic nearly naked vamp who likes to kill her victims with a chainsaw. Then everyone starts looking for Vlak, who has been abducted by Wang Su, a Chinese drug dealer who runs the cyberpunky underworld in Rio, and then everyone starts to have simulated sex with everyone else, and I dunno everything starts to whiz round and round after a while…

Ok, if the plot isn’t exactly easy to figure out, at least the visuals are pretty decent, right? Welllll…sort of? There are some really great visual scenes, and the look and feel of the dystopian modern Rio de Janeiro is pretty impressive, but then there are some weird masks that are never explained, and some pretty weak ass FX with weapons, like right out of a comic book, and the whole thing becomes sort of muddled, as if your brain is lost in translation. All of that is mixed in, like Sin City, with comic book stills and some animations. Between the over the top weird visuals, the wayyyy-too-much-plot, the obviously fake cardboard cut-out weapons, the overly saturated color scheme, and the head pounding moosic mix my poor cow brain was lost…

Ummmm…that “sword” is made from cardboard. Wat???

Fausto Fawcett plays Vlak, and he is the primary writer too. Looks like he’s been involved in moore than a couple Marcelo Santiago projects, as has moost of the udder actors, especially Otto Jr, who plays Draco; not only is he a veteran of Santiago productions and Brazilian TV in general, but his character Draco has appeared in some earlier productions. Clearly some moolah was spent on sets and costumes, and mooch of the production level is not only sound but very stylish and quite hip – but you just gots to ask WHY about some of the choices, like the fake weapons – maybe there is some kind of law in Rio about using plastic ones that look real? Inquiring cows wanna KNOW!

And now introducing Vampire Chicken Face….

Well, the votes are in, and overall the Indie Film Cafe folks were just kind of stunned with this one. Moody gave it a 9, Ms. Sarah went with an 8, and the MooCow went right down the middle with an 8.5, giving Tropical Vampire a Total Stink Score of 25.5, which is a Stinky Average of 8.5. That puts this weird film on the Ladder of Stink tied with From Hell it Came.

Check out the trailer on VIMEO. There is a free version on Youtube, but I think it lacks boobage, you have to pay for that on the channel. It is also currently on Tubi, so check it out! You can also stream it on Prime. But so far this cow has not been able to find a source for either DVD or blu ray, nor is there any swag for the flick out there, at least not for the mooment. It was reviewed over at Movies and Mania, as well as a few bloggers HERE and HERE, but there is not mooch out there on this flick. It is also covered on HorrorCultFilms.com.

I wish I knew what was going on…

Episode 127: Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (2000)

Hey everybody! Jonathan here again for another blog post! So this was my last episode I hosted for Season 5. And since it was December I wanted to do something semi sort of “Christmas-y” also since it was July that we recorded it I decided that Christmas in the tropics would be a cool theme. So I found one that I hadn’t actually seen yet but knew about and decided to do… “Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman”.  And since I had done Jack Frost before with Paul and this was on Tubi I tried to find a special guest that wasn’t local. So we asked Gaz Morgan to come back for another episode and boy did this new episode not disappoint (much like the movie kind of did) lol 

I mean Jack Frost 1 wasn’t a total winner. It had a few problems of its own but jeez by comparison that movie was Citizen Kane. Now a lot of people love this movie (I’m looking at you Maddie Deering) and that’s okay, like I get it. I get the whole love for these two films but all in all I felt like the movie severely lacked the goofiness this one had. Oh I mean it tried but the goofiness was too in your face that I feel like that kind of screwed everything up. 

What where yer pokin’ yer icicle, fellah!

Some of the original cast came back for this film which was a big treat to see. I kind of wished I had watched the first one right before watching this next one because I almost forgot certain characters (Remember we did Jack Frost in season 2 so it had been like 3 years since I had seen it. The original cast were having a blast coming back to play their parts. I specifically loved seeing Agent Manners back. It was a big coincidence they all wound up there but they did the best explaining it. 

We all laughed at the silliness of the idea to have a snowman on a tropical island… one that can evaporate and just be a carrot in the water. Oh Brother!  But I mean the pure mindlessness of the movie mixed in with the “Science” of it all just sort of made this movie lack the fun and imagination any of these type of killer things that shouldn’t exist movies be. I think after the first movie the writer director said to himself… “What do I do next that will set this one apart from the other one… I know I’ll put in the tropics” And then he decided to throw a bunch of things in that didn’t make any sense

We’re the best thing in the whole darn flick!

Speaking of which the biggest thing it did was introduce him having kids. Baby snowballs. I laughed my ass off at that. It didn’t seem like Gaz was all that impressed. Hell neither him or Paul seemed that thrilled with any of it. I think when this movie was made I was in high school or just getting out so this was more up my dark and scary alley. I sort of enjoy and have a soft spot for these type of flicks. Stuff like Child’s play where there’s a serial killer inside of something silly. This one however I think was just a tad bit too over the top but not in the fun way it should have been. 

With that being said the scores are in…. It seemed that Paul thought it was the most stinky and gave it a 9 on the Stinkometer. While Gaz and and I both gave it an 8 each. Which brought the Stink Total to 25. Which ties it up there with a bunch including: Wild World of Batwoman (Which deserves to be lower than this in my opinion, Totem (another one that should have been more fun), Pocket Ninjas (eeek), Alien Beasts (which I thought was higher… thanks John Ward), Ankle Biters, (Snooze), Cat Women of the Moon (Ehhh), Darkwolf (Grrr Grrr), and Prehistoric Bimbos from Armageddon City (Once again I wish was higher on the Stinkometer).

Anyhoo thank you all so much for checking this out. Paul is coming up next with his two episode write-ups to wrap up Season 5, then we are off to Season 6.  But until then here’s Paul to tell you how to get your grubby little hooves on this flick take it away Paul…

Moo everyone! Well, we has yer trailer for you right HERE. And if you want to watch this flick fer free you can finds it on YouTube and Tubi. Uncle Amazon has it on DVD, Blu Ray AND VHS, because true surrering only comes when you spend the moolah and has it in yer own hooves. Both DVD and Blu Ray are also sold at Best Buy (with original and alternative covers!), GrindhouseVideos.Com, MoviesUnlimited.com, and the DVD can be had for re-sale at both Albris and Ebay. Get the digital poster at SBS, and up to an 11″ x 17″ physical poster at MoviePosters2.com. Get the tee shirt at HorrorFilmTees.com and those of you who like the soundtrack can find it HERE. Also there are some fun reviews of this flick at Dread Central, Hamburgers & Horror, and HorrorSociety.com.


Episode 126: Cornman: American Vegetable Hero (2001)

Who? Who can save the fragile Earth from the vicious depredations of monsters like Dr. Evil and his horrific minions? Why CORNMAN can, that’s who! With his trusty sidekick, Butter Boy, Cornman is here to save us and protect Truth, Justice, and the American Way, through the power of corn. Corn! CORN!!!

Yes, this a-maize-ing moovie has been brought to you from producer and actor Barak Epstein, and the IFC kids are ready to devour it, digest it, and discuss it on the latest episode of Indie Film Cafe! This time, Moody and the MooCow are joined by sweet, innocent Kira ( a friend from the MooCow’s work), and, ummm…let’s just say she was not prepared for the AWESOME EPIC ADVENTURE she was about to behold! Microbudget madness!

I’m gonna ear ya, I’m gonna ear ya reeeeeeall good!

We’re all suckers for a good, awe-inspiring super hero in this country, which is why our moovie theaters and tv screens are full of ’em, but there is NO super hero quite as…well, something…as this one (well, maybe Puma Man)! There are capes! There are fisticuffs! There is corn! There is butter!! There is punk moosic! There are some cute chicks in showers! There is every essential element for having a good old fashioned good time with Cornman – and just wait ’til the ladies get a load of Butter Boy, and get swoooned off of their feet!

Ok, yes, this is a very silly, and stinky, super hero moovie that is just a lot of fun. Traditional super heroes have never been the MooCow’s cuppa Joe, but weird, wacky ones sure are, and Cornman is one of the weirdest and wackiest! The evil Dr. Hoe is trying to control all the corn in the world for his own wicked purposes, and ummm…its up to Cornman and Butter Boy (ably assisted by The Psychic Nose, who, uhhh, has an amazing nose) to stop him. That’s about it, folks, its none too cowplicated! Its part-time comic book parody, part-time Troma stinker, and a whole lotta backyard fun with the friends and family straight to video nonsense. In fact, our old pal Uncle Lloyd himself from Troma introduces the moovie, and if that’s not a seal of approval then dis cow don’t know what one is! And that epic ending with the battle against CORNSPARAGUS is…something to behold!

What will we do when the Evil Dr. Hoe unleashes the monstrous Cornsparagus on us? WHAT WILL WE DOOOO???

Well, the scores are in, and Cornman actually scored pretty well – Moody gave the flick a 7, while the MooCow went with a 7.5, while newbie Kira went with an 8, giving Cornman: American Vegetable Hero a total score of 22.5, which is a Stinky Average of 7.5! That puts Cornman next to Crater Lake Monster and WonTon Ton: The Dog That Saved Hollywood on the Ladder of Stink!

We found a trailer right HERE. Apparently it is streaming on Yidio, whatever the heck that is. Udderwise you gotta git yer hooves on DVD, which you can from Amazon, INetVideo.com, and/or SRS Cinema. You can also buy the disc re-sale through Ebay. There just aint a lotta swag out there for this film, which is moost unfortunate – cowever, I did find a way to support your love of Cornman through this coffee mug sold at Wallyworld. You can also get digital versions of the film poster at Cinematerial.com and MovieposterDB.com. Apparently the boppy soundtrack was released on vinyl, check out Nasdisc it might pop up one day.