Episode 23: Actium Maximus: War of the Alien Dinosaurs


Welcome to Season 2!!!  To get the new season off on jut the right foot, those wacky kids at Indie Film Cafe dug up a real stinker from the Land Down Udder – Actium Maximus: the War of the Alien Dinosaurs.  Well, it’s moore like the War of the Poorly Cowstructed, Unintelligible Puppets.  This massive cow flop was written, directed, produced, shot, and starred one Mark Hicks; originally it was meant to be an introduction to a science fiction tv series, but ended up being released by those nutsy guys at Troma (always the mark of quality) as a feature-length moovie, unintelligent puppets and all.

Rahhh, I’m a Dinosaur!  Or a Pancake Dripping with Syrup.  Or sumthin’…

So, there is this box evil box who rules the world called Actium who runs a huge puppet theater with dinosaurs with pointy rock people and a bunch of garbled voiced puppets who need moore huge critters, so they send out Mark Hicks into some galaxy where he finds a huge model spaceship with the interior of a modern battleship that turns out to be the corpse of a god, errr sumthin’, we honestly have no idea what the blazes is going on.  Suffice so say the whole herd nearly torn the spots off their backs trying to figure this one out – check out the Indie Film Cafe Season 2 Episode 1 podcast, and see if you can make heads or tails of things…

Rahhh, I’m a Box!  Or a Evil Robot Overlord.  Or sumthin’….

Wow.  First episode of Season 2, and we’ve already got 9.5s from both Moody and the MooCow. Just Jenn found out what was playing, and ran away and hid so she didn’t have to see it.  She’s the smart one of the group.  Anycow, first episode in and we’re already in the deep, deep end of the Stink Pool, and our average Stink Score is a 9.5!


A trailer?  Really?  You really wanna go there?  Fine, here’s your trailer of this dumpster fire, you freak!  And for you serious masochists out there, you can buy this flick, on a double shot dvd with Star Worms II, right from Troma Films itself HERE.  You can also buy it on Amazon.  Somecow there is even a fan page on the Facebook.  If yer dying to hear the snazzy moosic from the film (and who isn’t?), as well as pictures, check this VIDEO out on Youtube.  Get yourself a spoon and suck up every last tiny morsel of stink…

Really, you BOUGHT this film???!!!???

Well, don’t say you weren’t warned!  And tune in next episode of Season 2 of Indie Film Cafe: we can;t promise you moore garbled dinosaur puppets, but we will find something stinky to tickle your funnybone…




Episode 22: Thankskilling


Well, if yer looking for an evil killer turkey puppet moovie (and who isn’t), Thankskilling might be your go-to gobbler, ’cause this is one fowl flick that’s all meat AND a side of mashed potatoes!  Turkie stars as himself as the bad-pun spinning, sheriff-face wearing, Flashy-chopping, salad-tossing turkey puppet avenger, out to kill a bunch of the dopiest false teenagers in the ‘burbs!  This is one weird and wonderful stinkbomb, folks – check out the Season 1 Finale of Indie Film Cafe to see who flew the coop, and who demanded seconds!


Soooo, let’s see, there’s murder, of course, including fog-murder, urination, pointless boobery, joke repetition, turkey puppet rape, attempted turkey butt molestation, some fake turkey turds on a chest, a floating roast turkey animated sticker, a truly awkward coffee scene between a turkey puppet and a guy dressed as a turkey, a schmarmy bro-love song, and a turkey wearing a human face as a mask with rope tied around it – and no one recognizes him.  This moovie is nothing if not stunning in its verisimilitude.

Dude, don’t eat that…

Well this moovie helped Season 1 go out with a bang!  Jenn and Moody cudn’t help themselves but give scores of 9.5 on the Stinkometer, while the MooCow was a tad moore generous with a score of 9, giving Thankskilling a whopping 28 Stink Score!  That’s right there with Birdemic – it moost be a bird thing!

Stinky Score 9

Enjoy the trailerage HERE.  Watch it on the Tube of You HERE, or git yer hooves on copy at Amazon.  Or splurge and get the combo pack of Thankskilling and Thankskilling 3, the Complete Collection, also at Amazon – and OHHH YESSSS, we will be covering Thankskilling 3 in the very near future!  And remember, all this whackadoodle fun comes from the mind of Director Jordan Downey – check out his Mandatory interview HERE.  And, there’s now a musical, because of course there is!  Finally, you can get yer very own tee shirt of Turkie right HERE, because why on earth would you not??

Well, that’s it for Season 1, we’ll have a short wrap-up episode to discuss what we’ve learned this year, and maybe drop a hint or two about what’s to come for Season 2 in 2019 – so check us out at PodBean to see what fowl gobbler we’ve seen next!



Episode 21: Santa’s Slay


He’s making his list, and he’s checking it twice, he’s gonna kill everyone, naughty AND nice!
Yes, nothing says home for the holidays quite like a homicidal axe-murdering demon Santa riding a Viking longboat-sled pulled by an enormous furry hell beast bison.  Just like Dr. Seuss and Charles Dickins wrote!  Bill Goldberg plays the aforementioned Kris Kringle demon from hell, cranky from 1000 years of kid’s letters begging for toys, and so he returns to Hell Township to give the pasty-faced denizens what-for, and the likes of Fran Dresher, James Caan, Rebecca Gayheart, Dave Thomas, and Saul Rubenik get turned into lumps of coal.  Fortunately, our two young friends, played with aplomb by Douglas Smith and Emilie de Ravin, with a little help from an angle played by Robert Culp (if you can believe that!) finally saves Christmas and the day!

Uhh, Dave Thomas, this is NOT the ride you want!

if you have the Christmas blues, or are just a Grinch at heart, you’ll cheer on Bill Golberg‘s slayin’ Santa – check out what the Indie Film Cafe folks had to say about this one on their latest PODCAST!  Right from the demented opening you know yer in for a treat.  And there’s even some hot and heavy curling action!  And YESSSS, we know we should have saved this moovie for December, but who doesn’t like to have a peek at their presents a bit early?

I think the kids liked their gifts, Honey!

Overall, the Indie Film Cafe kids thought Santa’s Slay wasn’t too naughty or too nice: Moody gave it a 3, while Just Jenn and the MooCow tossed in 6’s, putting this holiday holocaust at 15 on the Stinkometer – which is middle of the pack!  That’s an average Stink Score of 5!  Not too shabby!

Stinky Score 5

Trailer, right HERE.  Enjoy the Alice Cooper hairspray-N-spandex metal theme song for the moovie HERE.  AND enjoy the kewl Futurama version HERE.  Want the DVD nooch?  Get it at Amazon.  And Target.  And Wally World.  There’s a fun little article HERE about cow Bill Goldberg met his wide on the set of the moovie!

Just one moore moovie to go for Season One – I wonder what it cud beeee??

if you thought Santa was rough, wait ’til you get a load of MY tail feathers!



Episode 20: Rat Pfink A Boo Boo


The rallying cry of possibly the greatest superhero duo in all film history!  Well, they were certainly the cheapest costumed heroes of all time.  For pure silly, whimsical fun, its really hard to beat this oddball whackadoodle comedy superhero moovie featuring hot (for 1963) singer Lonnie Lord and mild mannered gardener Titus stepping into a closet to become the mighty Rat Pfink and Boo Boo!  Clearly both an homage and a send-up of the early 60’s Batman tv show, with a bit of the Monkees and a generous portion of Richard Lester’s manic musical clips a la Help and A Hard Day’s Night, this Ray Dennis Steckler masterpiece jolts the audience from its serious opening third to the unexpected over the top romp that is positively hi-larious!  Check out our latest podcast to hear the details!

Our heroes!

Seriously, your sides will split with laughter when you see these cheaply bedecked ‘heroes’ fly down the Hollywood suburban streets in their little scooter and sidecar, the Pfinkmobile, fighting crime.  Toss in 3 evil no-goodnicks, the amazingly lovely Caroline Brandt as Cee Bee, and a rockin’ surfy rockabilly soundtrack provided by Ron Haydock and the Boppers, AND a special appearance by Kogar the Gorilla (Bob Burns), and you have absolute indie and cult moovie GOLD!

Ape!  Drop That Girl!

Well folks, we have a new low score for Season one, as Moody, the MooCow, and Just Jenn all gave Rat Pfink A Boo Boo fairly low scores, respectively a 3, a 2, and a 2.5, for an overall total Stink Score of 7.5, and a Stink average of only 2.5!  What a moovie!

Stinky Score 2

As usual, we have trailers!  anna see what all the fuss is about, then head over to Amazon to git yer hooves on a copy for yerself!  And Youtube is full of moosic from the film, and from Ron Haydock, who played Lonnie Lord/Rat Pfink, so check those out as well!.  And check out this whey kewl promotional film IN COLOR showing Rat Pfink, Boo Boo, Cee Bee, and Kogar at a local supermarket in LA!  The film and its moosic continue to inspire moosicians and artists from all over the spectrum!  Ray Dennis Steckler himself has inspired many podcasts, actors, and folks in the indie film scene, such as actor and writer Ron Jason.  You can find a touching tribute to the man HERE with pictures from his days in the Army, early behind the scenes shots, and of course many shots of Ray with his loving family.  And check out Ray’s fun and wacky short silent film homage Goofs on the Loose, long lost but rediscovered and on the Tub of You!

If our podcast gets you to see one flick from this season, Rat Pfink a Boo Boo just might be the one to see!  Help our caped heroes FIGHT CRIME!!!


Episode 19: Ankle Biters


Three feet tall/Two inch fangs!! Three feet tall/Two inch fangs!!

Yes, that is the world famous mantra of Indie Film Cafe’s latest stinkfest, known as Ankle Biters – because there’s a gang of midget vampires and they can only reach your ankles, get it?  Actually, they prove they can pull down fully grown adult men and then bite them, but why do they have to bite them on the ankles???  There aren’t baby vampires (I wish!).  I dunno, but if yer looking for some hot and heavy midget vampire action (and honestly, who isn’t?), then this moovie has…well, some,  Moostly its about this grumpy anti-hero part-vampire named Drexel who is trying to stop the lil’ guys from making a full-sized vamp from a gem in a plastic sword, because lil’ vamps can only turn midgets into vampires – who knew that?

We is Fierce!  Now Gimme Yer Ankles!

So Drexel (played by Writer/Director/Producer Adam Minarovich) and his little buddy T-Bone join force with some other dudes who also want to kill vampires (can’t we all just get along?) for reasons – the moovie is so dark and the sound is so dim we are sure things happen for some kind of reason, we’ll just be darned if we know what they are.  Under-developed, lacking humor, and suffering from some fairly bad post production, check out the Indie Film Cafe folks as they moan and groan their way through this gem in their latest PODCAST.

These fake fangs hurt!

Well, these guys might be small, but they are big on the stink scale!  Moody awarded this flick an 8, while Just Jenn and the MooCow gave it 8.5s, for a total stink core of 25!  The MooCow might have awarded the film a bit moore, but he fell asleep into his massively buttered popcorn towards the end.

Stinky Score 8

We’ve got trailerage right HERE!  To git yer hooves on a dvd copy for your very own self, check out AMAZON , or sometimes they have it at BULL MOOSE.  And check out Adam Minarovich’s udder stinky classic Wiseguys VS Zombies for moore fun!  And of course you can see him in on AMC’s the Walking Dead.  And for those of you who simply cannot get enough of that slammin’ Ankle Biters theme song (you know who you are!), we present it to you HERE, in all its glory.

Ok, Ankle Biters might be a stinky midget vampire flick, but don’t sell it short – give it a little chance, and it just might work its way into your heart!