Tag: horror

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Episode 170: Sins of the Fleshapoids (1965)

The MooCow

And finally the Indie Film Cafe kids have come to the end of Season 6, and we’re going out with a bang with the classic weird cult indie film from maverick moovie maker Mike Kuchar, yeah we’re talkin’ Sins of the Fleshapoids. WOW! This is certainly a…well, a moovie. So what exactly is a Fleshapoid, and why is dey so sinsful?? Well, stay tuned to the latest episode of Indie Film Cafe, wherein Moody, the MooCow, and long-suffering Just Jenn chop it up about this wild and weird mid-sixties udderground flick – check it out! :=8D

Absolutely no bees around my Queen B’s, please!

Its the weird, sexy robot revolution, 1960’s style, where humans in the very far future following a “Great War” are both lazy as hell and make extremely questionable fashion choices. They rely on their Fleshapoid andriod-robot thingies to do everything for them (ya know, kinda like white folks use brown folks today…), somewhere between slaves, servants, and/or tools – except they has feelings too, all of the feels, and when they get riled up, well, we’re not talkin’ Terminator terrors but there is a whole lot of weird helmet wearing goin’ on.

Behold! My futuristic Interpretive DAAAANCING!!!!

So, wherein Fleshapoid Xar, played by Bob Cowen (Attack of The The Eye Creatures, The Sky Socialist, The Devil’s Cleavage) – who is also the Narrator – revolts against his human handler to hook up with Melenka, a female Fleshapoid because, well, when a mommy fleshapoid and a daddy fleshapoid love each other very much….
Anycow, this does not sit well with Prince Gianbeno (George Kuchar, Mike’s director brother) and Princess Vivianna, played by Donna Kerness (The Naked and the Nude, Pussy on a Hot Tin Roof, Lust for Ecstasy, The Devil’s Cleavage), and things and stuff happen. Now, the Princess is a naughty little monkey because she has a secret lover named Ernie (and who doesn’t?) , forming a sort of weird mid century modern underground love triangle, but the Prince gets red hot about all this, so that Xar and Melenka have to kill them, and then have sexy robot naked time and produce a cute lil toy robot that wanders right the heck outta Melenka’s….ummm…Fleshapoid cave. The heck??? :=8o

Wow! If you like yer sci-fi sex romps to be cheap, weird, overly-stylistic, and with barely any nudity, but with robo-husbandry, then this strange little flick is right up your dark, scary alley. The visuals were at the same time dark and grainy and hard to make out, while also being vividly and jarringly super saturated with color; the moosic was interesting but also rather pompous and bombastic; the acting ranged from wooden to fairly cowvincing at times, and the direction just seemed a step up from yer typical Nick Zed cheap-o stinkfest at times, while at udder times there were some very interesting shot selections. There’s something here for everybody! Add in the fact that this moovie has a HUGE udderground following, to say nothing of a rather notorious campy reputation, this little gem of a moovie helps put the fartsy in artsy! And its under an hour long with no dialogue! :=8D

I must wear my Helmet of Fleshapoidery with pride, pride I say!

Well, the votes are in, folks, and Sins of the Fleshapoids comes in with a 6.5 from the MooCow, a 7.5 from Moody, and amazingly Just Jenn went with a 5! That gives this moovie a Stink Total of 19, which is a Stinky Average of 6.3. On the Ladder of Stink that score has it tied with Bigfoot Wars, which is quite interesting as it is the lowest scoring season ending moovie yet! You know that both Andy Warhol and John Waters loved this flick… ;=8)

Well, here is your weird trailer for a weird film. You can buy the DVD from Uncle Amazon right HERE. You can also order it from Re-Voir.com. You can also find it on the re-sale market at places like Ebay. You can check out a cheap, grainy version for free at the Internet Archive.com if you can’t buy yer own copy.

Robots gotta eat too!

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Episode 165: The Feral Man (2002)

The MooCow

Ya know cow in astrophysics we know about the presence of a black hole in space, not because we can actually see one, but because of the effects it has on udder stars and planets, how it sucks energy and matter and stuff away and towards the hole? That’s kind of this moovie: its a critter moovie that doesn’t actually show a critter, just the effects it has one everyone. In particular, one poor schlub named Danny, played by nun udder than writer/director/producer Brett Kelly (My Dead Girlfriend, Prey for the Beast, Pirates Quest for Snake Island, Jurassic Shark, et al), who ain’t having a nice day, and it gets even worse when…something sorta does something to him at his dad’s funeral. And Danny gets a lil…nutso. He’s becoming a werewolf! Well, only if your definition of ‘werewolf’ involves not actually changing into anything, and just wandering around a yapping a lot. That sort of ‘werewolf’. Naturally, Moody, along with special guest co-hosts Ana Xaden and Mark D. Valenti, had to check it out and yap about it on the newest edition of Indie Film Cafe!

Ummmm, yeah, we needed a lot moore of that!

Now we here at Indie Film Cafe loves us some Brett Kelly moovies, and Canuxploitation in general, but this moovie…there just ain’t much to it. It was only Kelly’s like second moovie, so we can cut him some slack, and the idea might could have been pulled off as a short film – the moovie is kind of short to begin with, and just feels mercilessly padded out – but as a full length…not so much. The acting isn’t so bad, nor even the direction is a real problem, and yes it is a microbudget production, even by Canadian standards (it prolly cost moore to fill up at Timmy Ho’s that day), its just the screenplay doesn’t do nearly enough to keep the audience’s attention. Just need a whole lotta moore!

Oooooh yeah, bath full of blood, never a good sign!

The moovie definitely has a sort of camcorder feel to it, and the FX are fairly cheesy, and one cannot help but thank Kelly that he didn’t try to show a critter ’cause that would have made things even worse – decent critter suits are expensive! The acting is earnest enough and and there is definitely some nice eye candy to look at, one just can’t help but want a hole lot moore claw-claw and blood splatter. Is ok, Director Kelly will be on to bigger and better things down the road; for a young filmmaker’s early attempts you cud do a lot worse than this. Some good, some bad, some meh, not too much of anything.

‘Ware yee mah Canadian pew-pew!

Well the votes are in, and the Indie Film kids gave the Feral Man a total Stink Score of 15 – that’s 4 from Jonathan Moody, a 6 from Ana Xaden, and a 5 from Mark D. Valenti – that’s a Stinky Average of 5.0, which seems to the MooCow to be cow spot on. That score puts it right in the middle of the Ladder of Stink, along with It Waits, Don’s Plum, and a bunch of udders.

You can find the trailer for this flick right HERE. You can find it on Youtube, but only the 49 minute version. The full version is streaming on Prime, and you can pick up the DVD pretty cheaply from Amazon as well as SRS Cinema – the DVD comes with loads of extras, so for you Brett Kelly fans having the physical media is a must-have! It is also streaming on Google Play. It is also out in the re-sale market, especially Ebay. This flick also appears on a double feature special cowllection called Night Creatures which is notoriously difficult to find, but every now and then pops up on Amazon. That one is on Ebay as well. Sorry, there does not seem to be any schwag out there for this moovie, not even a poster, and it is out of print in moost places apart from SRS so go gets yer hooves on a copy from them and check it out!

Please…only you can keep independent moovies alive…unlike me
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Episode 150: Drop Dead Roses (2001)

The MooCow

Hey everyone… Jonathan Moody back again and this time to chat about the film, “Drop Dead Roses” starring Brian O’Halloran from Clerks fame. I had picked this movie because I’m a huge fan of Clerks and I had looked it up and it was on Tubi. I own the movie myself but sometimes it’s easier to do it on zoom with someone than it is to go in to the studio. So the person I wanted to do this with was Tina Krause. She had seen a stinker before so I figured this wasn’t a terrible movie for her to watch with Paul and I. Paul is always excited to have Tina. Join us on our latest episode of Indie Film Cafe!

So here’s the IMDB storyline for all of you:

Shawn and Jason are two regular guys who run an irregular business. You pay them, and they’ll deliver dead roses or slightly abused chocolates to your target, along with an appropriately punitive message.

Kind of a perfect black Valentine’s Day type of movie to watch. The movie was made on a budget of 1, 100,000 CAD… Canadian Dollars. Yes the film was shot in Toronto and was written and directed by Jessica Hudson. This was her future debut. However since then she has made some short films.

I wasn’t even supposed to be here today!

It stars Brian O’Halloran from Clerks and the indie film, “Vulgar” which we have reviewed for What The Fuck Fridays among many other films. Brian plays the lead character Shawn and does it pretty damn well. It also stars Eddie McGee who plays Jason. He’s been in films such as The Human Race, Confidence, and Road to Terzetto. Though I think the main draw to this movie is Diana Devlin who plays Kayla. She’s very sweet and engaging throughout the whole film. She was in Vulgar, Clerks 3, The Only Woman In the World, and more.

The film is pretty much set up like a lot of out of the place work comedies. So the big thing is one guy will be at the office and set up the deliveries and then the other will go out for deliveries. Deliveries entail going to someone’s house or place of business and giving them dead roses and a message. Most of the time the messengers themselves get punched or beat up. Then of course Shawn meets Kayla and falls instantly in love with her. However his job is to bring her the dead roses and read the message even though he really doesn’t want to. When the ex boyfriend of Kayla’s finds out he instead started dating Kayla things go a little crazy from there.

Yellingses!!! So much yellingses!!! :=8O

I’ve always liked that type of comedy. It’s dark humor and very offensive. A type of movie I just don’t think someone would make today. We live in a completely different world than we did in 2001 when it was made. Interestingly enough I remember Brian talking about this movie in 2002 when I met him at Kevin Smith’s film festival Vulgarthon. He talked about how much fun this movie was and how different from Clerks his character was. I was excited and when I got the DVD I was not let down.

When I picked this movie for Paul and Tina I thought at least Tina would get a kick out of it but I think she wasn’t as excited as Paul and I were for a movie that Brian was the lead in. After Clerks Brian got a lot of smaller roles so to see him be the lead got both of us stoked. He def deserves to be the lead in more movies. Especially romantic comedies like this. Though Paul did find a lot more flaws to it than I or even Tina did.

I punch you!

Well the scores are in…. And I gave it a 2 so I gave it the lowest score. Paul gave it a 6. And Tina gave it a 5. Paul was the one who had the most issues with the movie and the story itself. This gave it a Stink Total of 13, and a Stinky Average of 4.3: not too shabby. That puts it up on the Ladder of Stink next to Toad Warrior. I hope we get more 13s. That was a pretty good number.

Anyhoo that’s it for this episode. Join us for the next 2 that will be Paul’s episodes and I will be back for my next 2 coming up soon enough. If you’ve seen Drop Dead Roses let us know your thoughts. And Paul is going to tell you how you can get your hooves on it… take it away Moo Cow….


Moo everyone! So here is our trailereage. The moovie is playing on Prime. It used to be on Tubi, but last I looked it was not – maybe it will come back, I hope so. You can pick up the DVD at Wallyworld and of course Uncle Amazon.  You can also find it via the re-sale market via Ebay. No word if the moovie ever comes out on Blu Ray, but if it does we will let you know! I’m afraid there is no Drop Dead Roses schwag out there, not even a digital poster, but who knows maybe that will change too. 

We totally need moore schwag out there, dude…