Ok, with a title like Bloodmarch Krackoon you know when a moovie promises glory and greatness, and if you insanely love weird, wacky, violent puppets then this moovie delivers with a Bronx Cheer! Because, yes, this film does indeed have insane, drug-addled killer raccoons running around the Big City (fuggetabout them rats!), killing and devouring anyone dumb enough to come near them. And just what would the IFC kids have to say about this – well check out the latest episode of Indie Film Cafe, in which Moody, the MooCow, and special guest co-host the one and only Tina Krause, actress, director, and scream queen extraordinaire, check out this silly flick!
Well, it seems that Locust Point in the Bronx has itself a little problem – is it crime, drugs, The Yankees, Leona Helmsley back from the dead? Oh no, moooch worse: toxic waste! Moore specifically, them critters what been ettin’ up the said toxic waste, which are getting dead, deformed, and blood thirsty, and not necessarily in that order. Peter Rabbit (!!!) the Deputy Mayor of the town, sees this as an opportunity to win himself some fame and glory, and he gets his cousins to figure out what’s going on and out a stop to them “raccoons strung out on crack”. But there is moore than one, and they ain’t playin’! Things and stuff ensue, and the evil stuffies have come for munchies! WHO WILL SURVIVE??? :=8O
Awlright, this is a low budget/microbudget monster picture that is all new York attitude, and very little by way of horror, thrills, or genuine scares – cowever, if you are tickled pink by the sight of deformed evil critter puppets attacking and eating mofos, very mooch like the MooCow is, then yer in for a real treat! Sadly, that did not seem to be the same cup of tea for either Moody or Tina Krause, as we shall come to see – but don’t worry Bloodmarsh Krackoon, da MooCow gets you, and gets you good!
The moovie was written and directed by Jerry Landi (Bronx Bigfoot, Silent Deafening, Bill Huckstabelle Serial Rapist), and was embiggened from a short he made in 2010 called simply Krackoon – years ahead, I might add, before the wave of critters eating drugs flicks like Cocaine Bear and Meth Shark were around! Our old pal Jerry already had the vision, and he was able to bring it to toothy, stuffed furry life. Sal Amore and Scott Barile head the cast, moost of which are veteran B moovie actors who have worked with Landi previously; there are also some udder veteran actors in the cast such as Anthony Bisciello (The Making of the Mob), Cindy Guyer (Jack’s Back, the Mirror Has Two Faces), and Bob Connolley (Satan’s Whip, Those People) to round out the cast. Marc J. Makowski (Slime City Massacre, Killer Rack, Snow Shark) was the producer.
It’s a silly moovie; it’s weird, it’s ridiculous, it’s cheap and kind of tawdry, but in the right mooood yer gonna have a fun time with this fetid lil flick! There are even some decent blood and gore effects, although the CGI are, well, special, in the short bus kind of way. And honestly sometimes the lighting and sound are problematic. But the actors are all invested and give it their all, the pacing is decent, the stuffies are amoosing as hell, AND you get to have the original short as an added bonus! WOOHOO!!!!
And the scores are in! Ok, not gonna lie, Ms. Krause was NOT amoosed! Maybe its because she’s a neighborhood girl, but she gave this furry feature a full 10 on the Stinkometer, while Moody awarded a 9.5, and the MooCow went with 8.5, giving Bloodmarsh Krackoon a total Stink Score of 28, which is a Stinky Average of 9.3, and putting this film on the Ladder of Stink right there along with the likes of Reflections of Evil, Fungicide, I am Here…Now, and a pile of udder ridiculous stinkers. High praise indeed!
Yo, we gots yer trailer right HERE. You can stream this on Prime, GooglePlay, and Mubi. You can buy the DvD from Uncle Amazon, or you have to get it re-sale through such sites as Ebay . It needs to be available elsewhere, damn it! Film Affinity.com has the digital poster, as does Gawby.com and MoviePosterDB.com, but that’s about it for schwag, I’m afraid.
There are a number of on-line reviews, including: You and Your Horror Movies, Nye’s Bizarre Cinema, RockShockPop.com, HorrorDNA.com, and Mondo Digital.com. There are also a number of nifty extras floating around, including a world premier video, a News 12 DVD Release, a Bronx Times article, a Search My Trash.com Interview with Jerry Landi, a HUGE Behind the Scenes video, and a Buffalo Dreams Q&A video!
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