Oh my GAWD, which kind of horrific, disturbing, mind-melting nightmare is THIS??? :=8O
Christmas and children and puppets and CLOWNS, all together at the same time!!?? Has the world gone mad?? Well, maybe the Indie Film Cafe kids have, because you just have to listen to Moody, the MooCow, and special guest co-host Lenore Miller moan and groan and gnash their teeth about this one on the latest episode of Indie Film Cafe – abandon hope all ye who enter! :=8O
Sooo, have you ever been repeatedly smashed about the neck and face with a 16 pound sledgehammer?? Watching this moovie is purty darn close! Oh yeah, nut’n like mid-60’s kiddie crap local amateur theater for some serious shudder action – and if you have a clown fear fetish boy howdy are you in for a stinky treat! So what happens?? Well, a grown man dressed in a horrible, ugly, garish clown outfit prances around in a vein attempt to entertain a pile of bored children; apparently Santa is involved, as well as a time machine, a flying carpet, and quite possibly Satan himself, and only his diabolical machinations cud possibly dream up this tepid pile of penguin poo. Longest 60 minutes of our lives!!!
B&S About Movies sums the flick up this way:
From 1953 to 1987, Frank Wiziarde played Whizzo the clown on TV stations in Kansas City and Topeka. He and his family had had their own traveling act, the Wiziarde Novelty Circus, so he had some level of big top know-how. None of this comes out in this film, which he directed and by that he set the camera up and just started talking. And talking.
And TALKING!! Except one poor little girl who coughs up a lung, and an udder one who let one rip. These are the best mooments in an extremely long, talky, and profoundly boring snorefest that frankly is torture to behold. oh yeah, and there is a terrifying, mangy dog puppet that I thought was going to eat the children’s souls, which honestly would have been a lot moore interesting. I mean, clowns are already grotesque, annoying characters, but this is just punishing!
It would seem that the evil, demonic figure known as Whizzo the Clown has been haunting Kansas City and frightening small children for decades, until time itself finally put an end to his reign of terror, and his hauntingly terrifying theme song. Finally vanquished back to the Great Beyond, the remaining leftover Whizzo paraphernalia has been gathered together in a sort of prison/tribute place where hopefully such a creature shall never coalesce again. If we’re lucky! :=8o
Man, that was rough – Not surprisingly, this got 10s from Moody and the MooCow; what was a surprise is that gentle co-host Lenore only awarded it a 9.5 – we think she liked the mangy dog puppet. Either that or her brain got permanently warped after witnessing this bizarre spectacle. Either way, that gives Whizzo’s Holiday Nightmare a very solid 29.5, which is a Stinky Average of 9.8. On the Ladder of Stink, Whizzo is only a half step away from Stinky Heaven, and tied with the likes of Geteven and Curse of the Mummy Cat.
For the brave, here is the TRAILER. Trust the MooCow, folks, its every bit as horrible as it looks. You can rent this monstrosity on Youtube, god knows why, although you can bear witness to the horror for FREE on Tubi. It also lurks menacingly on Prime. It is wayyyy out of print, thankfully, but you can buy a DVD-R recording to torture and torment your friends and family from DVDParty.com. This is pretty famously covered by Rifftrax, and you can find their cover of the flick on Tubi and also on the Rifftrax own site. it is also on Youtube! Believe me, kids, there is NO schwag related to this mootant horror, thankfully, because who the heck would want any (besides the MooCow to torment his friends with, of course!). But our buddy Cinema Snob covers it, and it is hi-larious, check it out! Its also on Movie Match Up, with a lot of pictures, as well as Million Monkey Christmas.
The Indie Film Cafe Movie Reviews! 